Best wishes

I HATE CHEESE THAT COMES IN THE LITTLE SEPERATE PACKAGES.

Every time you go to pull apart the wrapper and the cheese, the wrapper likes to play this little game called break apart the cheese.

It's totally annoying.

Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't been updating lately. I've had so much to do in the past few days, that I haven't had much time. But, I can assure you that my efforts have not been wasted. I'm in the pre-planning stage for the "two know" DVD. More details to come on that when I find out what's going on.

I'm up to some math homework tonight. Not much else. I'll be posting when I can.

Rachel is coming down to visit this weekend because of the labor day extension. I'm very excited about that. Seussical is also this weekend, so I'm double excited. I get to see Amanda at her FSU apartment (nonaffiliated housing, of course). I'm missing Jamie and Judy quite the bit back home. I'm eager to see Jill on stage this weekend, along with the rest of the fun cast. Hopefully Patrice will be able to attend the show so I can catch some time with her. Matt will also be a good face to see, seeing how we just can't stop laughing when we're around each other. I'd hoped to see Tyler this weekend, but he's not going to be coming back home. Bianca, I'm not sure about, but I'm missing the mom. Paisley, as always, will be fun to kid around with again, although I just saw her, it doesn't matter. As always, I can't wait to see my mom again. I really do miss her, although it's not a painful missing. None of the longings are, actually, which is good. I try to keep myself busy with various activities (video editing, random crappy journal entries, etc.)

To anyone who I dearly love and have missed, I am gratefully sorry. Much is on my mind right now. I hope everyone is having a wonderful time with their lives. All of my friends are in my dreams and best wishes.

Keep smiling.

Break time

And on the seventh day, he rested.

Life and Laundry

I woke up this afternoon at 3:10 PM with a horrible headache, much like the one I had a few days ago. I'm thinking it's stress related, but then again, it seems that doctor's just like to make you believe everything's stress related.

AccidentProne1: Doctor, my wife was just in a car accident, please, can you help her?
Dr_Couldcareless: Do you think it could be stress related?

Moral of the story, don't go to the doctor. I can tell you everything he'd tell you, but I don't charge.

Waking up this afternoon was also made unpleasant by the very pretty, although ultimately heavy, Matrix Revolutions poster falling on me (for the slower kids in the class, the poster is in a frame). You see, it's not attached to the tack strip because the strip is totally ridiculous, and it pushes the poster off the wall about four inches, so it's flapping in the breeze whenever I have the fan on, so anyway, yeah, it fell on me. That woke me up. I didn't like that. It's probably stress related.

As I'm sure most of you are aware, the "two know" teaser trailer is available for download. If you haven't seen it, be sure to check it out. Speaking of which, the world premier of the video will be next Saturday, September 4, 2004 at the Flagler Auditorium. I'd give you a specific time, but I can't right now. It depends on when Seussical ends, because, ladies and gentlemen, the video will be shown on the Flagler Auditorium's big screen. Be sure to come see Seussical that night, and watch the video afterwards! More information on the DVD release of this short film to come. I'm also going to be showing it to the film department, and I'll get those details to you soon. I'm expecting them to tell me it's crap, but that's how it goes. They tell me it's crap, and I go back and make something even better, and I make the million, theenks.

My day wasn't very long, though, getting up at three o'clock. In order for you to understand how this day went, I'll have to explain to you what happened last night (because I didn't update my journal last night = (

Keeping with the new, "Click-It or Ticket" campaign in Florida, State Troopers are now asking citizens if they've got what it takes to be a driver. Have you got Liquid Courage®?

Last night was very interesting. I had some visitors from a distant land. No, I'm not talking about alien abduction stories, again, Mulder. Rather, a Paisley Majewski and Alex Walsh from Palm Coast decided to chart down to the dandy UCF campus to visit their old friends. They hung around with me for a little bit and told me an amusing anecdote.

Apparently, Paisley was pulled over by a state trooper on the way up here. She'd rather me not disclose any details, but I will release one interesting quote:

"Where did you get such liquid courage...?" - State Trooper

You'll have to ask Paisley for the details.

After their short visit to my dorm, Paiz and Walsh then charted off to visit the various other friends they have on campus. Such friends include Laura Negron, Ashley Walker, and Bill Murray. I didn't see either of them until the next night.

Alright, so fast-forward to four thirty today. Alex called me on the phone and wanted to know where I was. So, naturally I lied to him and told him I was charting across the Alaskan outback.

He didn't buy it.

So, he met me outside the cafeteria and we went up to my dorm. We talked, I messed around on the computer, and he decided to watch some television. No harm done, right?

Laundry sorters, like the one pictured above, are considered "HOT ITEMS," and range anywhere from $200 - $300. They go for $150 on the black market.

WRONG.

You see, I don't have a television on my side of the room. So, naturally, Alex decides to venture into unknown territory. He went into Kurt's area, turned his television on, and watched his favorite golf team, the Chicago Clubs. While I'm not an avid sports fan, I cheered them on as they scored penalty kicks.

Later in the evening, I did some laundry. Let me be the first to tell you that laundry is no picnic. You have to actually, get this, separate clothes into piles? Now, explain to me how that's time efficient when I spend most of my life throwing clothes into one pile? Lucky for me, Amanda Westerhouse went to Wal-Mart with me before college started and purchased a "three-bag-laundry-sorter." So, now, all I have to do is seperate my laundry right when I take it off, rather than later at the washing machine. That saves a huge amount of time in separating. And, I know that many people have different ways of separating laundry, and lots of people have trouble with it. I use the three bags to separate my laundry by shirts, pants, and underwear/socks. It's really not that hard, once you get the hang of it.
Kurtis's mother called me. Did I ever mention that? I don't believe I did. But, it happened awhile ago. Anyway, so his mother called me and talked to me quite extensively about how life is at college and how she wants to meet me. I think she's a little crazy, but she seems like a nice woman. The first person that comes to mind when I talk to her is Brittany Caldwell's mother. For those of you who don't know Britto's mom, she's the one who wrote the original list of "GUEST RULES," which I later modified and turned them into the "DORM RULES."

Which takes me off into another little story. Tyler Teachworth introduced Katie McDuff and I to this very funny girl who lived in Ponte Vedra Beach, almost up near Jacksonville. Her name was Brittany Caldwell. Tyler and Brittany met each other via band, somehow, I'm not exactly sure. They were at a football game, or something like that.

Anyway.

So, Brittany came down and visited us for awhile. We became pretty good friends with her, and all was well. We got along so well, she even invited us up to stay the night at her house. So, Stephen Mayhugh, Tyler, Katie and I all went up to visit Brittany. As I'm getting out of my car, I got that feeling like, "okay, here we go." You know, that feeling when you're going to met a new mom or dad? It's like an evaluation period where you have to sort of, prove your worthiness to be their friend. Yeah, it's stupid, but it happens.

So, we walk up to the door, and Brittany comes outside to greet us.

HatchbackFOCUS: Hey, umm...my mom's a little crazy, I forgot to mention...so, if you could just be cool for awhile, is that okay?
TheGang: Sure.

So, we walk into the front door, and right there on the wall is posted a list. It reads as follows:

Guest Rules

Britto assures me that you are perfect ladies and gentlemen and that you will have no difficulty following these rules. Any questions, just ask.

- Momma Cass

1. Don’t let the dog out.
2. All individuals drinking beverages must either hold the beverage 100% of the time OR use a coaster when not drinking the beverage.
3. Guys – Put the toilet seat down when you finish doing your thing in the bathroom.
4. Use the trash can if necessary. It’s under the sink in the kitchen.
5. All recyclables must be placed in the plastic bag in the kitchen (however, the plastic bag may be moved at a later time.)
6. There are two pizzas in the freezer in the garage. You may cook them. Make sure you are not wasteful. (Only cook what you need.) Make SURE the freezer is completely closed after you get the pizzas out.
7. No male and female may wander off together.
8. No males and females may sleep together.
9. Stay in the house. (Exception would be if you had to leave briefly to get something out of you car and that’s it!)
10. Clean up after yourselves!
11. There are clean towels in the closet in the den. Just get what you need.
12. Please do not feed the dog.
13. Be nice ladies and gentlemen.
14. Wake me in case of any emergency. This would include injury, illness or anything that concerns you.
15. No use of fire without an adult present.
16. Switching labels is prohibited.
17. There will be no recycling of non recyclables (tissues, apples, toy buses, etc.)
18. The golf course is for golfers only – no cars allowed.
19. Check bread before eating (it gets moldy quickly for some reason.)
20. Do not cook pizzas unless you plan to stay awake.
21. No horse play, unless if necessary.
22. No face placement in ANY popcorn bowl at ANY time.
23. Our couch does not vibrate.
24. Fork statues are not allowed.
25. No cold compresses shall be thrown at bottles.
26. No card tricks unless everyone can understand the trick.
27. Our couch is not to be wet.
28. Everyone must survive the night (no suffocating people with pillows).
29. No eating chicken salad sandwiches without checking for bones first!
30. There will be no “Pin the fork on the dog.” If so, there are two forks in the kitchen (which you may use if necessary.)
31. There will be no waking of “Momma Cass” with tales of Stumpy.
32. No midnight carwashes on interstate exits.
33. Do not outline your body in chalk (dead or alive bodies). Also, police line is not to be placed around the house.
34. No sleeping in the bathtub; Mr. Clean is a figment of your imagination.
35. No pretending fruit is a Spanish woman that’s getting her nails filed.
36. There will be no repeated viewing's of “Silence of the Lambs,” unless if necessary.
37. Don’t start too many fires – that upsets Nancy.
38. There are two guns in the closet. You may eat them if necessary.
39. No one shall shut the lights of and say “My leg hurts” while kicking legs frantically.
40. Have a good time.

So, naturally, we left as soon as possible. But that was not before I got the chance to spray green cake decoration on the bread so it looked like it was molding.

Where was I...ah yes! Kurtis's mother called me, and spoke with me at great length. The conversation went something like this:

MommaKurtisApples: Hello?
Me_Me_Me: Hello.
MommaKurtisApples: Kurtis?
Me_Me_Me: Hi, no, this is Jesse, Kurtis's roommate.

Mrs. Vandestreek sits, sobbing.

At this point, I could see where it was going.

MommaKurtisApples: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SON?

Me _Me_Me: If you ever want to see you son alive again, I suggest you listen very carefully.
MommaKurtisApples: [sobs]
Me_Me_Me: I want ten million in diamonds. You have three hours. There's a phone on Wellson and Lake, you can make it.
MommaKurtisApples: I...can't...I...I...ca...can't!!
Me_Me_Me: You have three hours.
Me_Me_Me has signed off. You have three hours.
MommaKurtisApples: Wait! How much time do I have? [sobs]
Me_Me_Me is not available.

She was a rather nice woman. Too bad about her son.

The Biggest Journal Update Yet

two know Teaser Trailer

Clothes make the man

Date: Thursday, August 26, 2004
Subject: My life as a teen model.
Current Mood: Disabled Bathroom
Current Music: "One More Night," Phil Collins

In the news today:

Budapest-born producer Andrew Vajna told the newspaper that he is currently working on Terminator 4, which will be made without Arnold Schwarzenegger. Asked how that could be accomplished, he replied, "We will surprise the world."

Sounds interesting. I'm not thinking Terminator 4 will be good, but you never know. Although the third one in no way measured up to Terminator 2: Judgment Day, people forget to realize that no science fiction movie since the Matrix Trilogy has come close to redefining how we view cinema, much like Terminator 2 did at the time.

I didn't have class today until 1:30 PM, so for those of you concerned about how late I went to bed last night, you can let your souls finally rest. I woke up early this morning, made my coffee like I always do. Alright, so that's a lie. I woke up at noon. So what?

Thursday.

Did I mention that I've written other books as well? It's the 3rd edition, kids.

Psychology class was very entertaining today. I will never raise my hand to answer any question or offer any suggestion. That man is insane, and he tears anything you say apart, even if you have a valid point. And God help you if you don't know what you're talking about.

Wrote_the_Book103: Can anyone give me an example of when our actions are sexual related? Besides having sex, of course.
GotAnswer87: Sometimes we talk different to the opposite sex. Maybe because we're trying to impress them.
Wrote_the_Book103: Alright, so does anyone have anything intelligent to say, or are we just going to sit around and listen to this moron? Freaking idiot.
GotAnswer87 has signed off and killed himself.

I'm thinking the man is totally insane. He is very funny, though. He's straight to the point, which is very good. The tests, from what I hear, are pretty hard, but if you study you'll do fine. Hello? That's what you have to do. I really do enjoy having him as a teacher. Although I will never offer anything in class, he's welcome to ask me what I think. However, that doesn't guarantee any logical answer.

Wrote_the_Book103: What's your name?
Me_Me_Me: Jesse.
Wrote_the_Book103 So, Jesse, what do you think? Are we driven by our sexual and aggressive desires, as Freud indicates, or do we show more humanistic values? Can the human race be thought of as a positive, good natured, species?
Me_Me_Me: Jesse.
Wrote_the_Book103 Excuse me?
Me_Me_Me: Jesse.
Wrote_the_Book103: You realize I wrote the book, right?

Daniel Keys (above) sits alone is his living room thinking about his love Natalie Green (below), who hasn't spoken with him in a long time.

Of course, after class I came back and hopped on the computer to work on the infamous "two know" video. I didn't really do much with it. I'm trying to just let the images of the video sit in my mind, so I can think of other ideas. That's the hardest part about creating something -- thinking up the cool ideas and such. Once you have an idea of what you want to do, you'll be fine. The video is coming out much better than I though it would, I have to say. I was very hesitant during filming about even continuing the project. I think I told Jill that once when she and I had been shooting scenes at Washington Oaks. I'm planning a special DVD release of this video for a nominal fee of, maybe $5, or something. I'm also planning on making a trailer for the video to release online @ judyhoof.com. But those are only potential ideas. We'll see how it works out.

I'm hoping to submit this project to the film department this fall, along with a portfolio that I will put together. I also think it might be wise to submit this portfolio, but in addition bring my first DVD and this project to a film professor and see what they think about my projects. Working with music videos so much, I'm thinking that that might be an interesting career -- music videos, but a new breed. Not the standard "I've got a band, and they want screen time" videos where random shots of the band fly across the screen. No, I'm talking about relaying the true meaning of each song to whoever is watching the video. Yeah, that could be fun.

We've got the afternoon, you got this room for two. One thing I've left to do, discover me, discovering you. Talented man, that John Mayer. Speaking of music, can I just mention that I think people take music too seriously these days. Everyone's so caught up in saying, "Yeah, he doesn't have a good voice," or "they don't write their own songs," or, and this one is my favorite, "the radio killed that one for me." Like those comments are credible criteria to dictate who is a good artist or not. This is especially hypocritical when those very people are like, "Yeah, John Groban? Clay Aiken? Eh, I don't like them." Alright, so what exactly is your criteria? And why can't you simply admit that you have provincial musical tastes, and you just "like who you like." Over the past, oh, I'd say, few years, I've opened my mind up to so much music. Different artists and genres that I'd never have listened to before. In fact, as long as the song is dynamic, I'll listen to it. I can't really get into heavy metal because most of it has crazy distorted vocals and random instrumentation. I'm sure that music has it's target audience, but, it's just not me. Anyway, at the end of the day, I will listen to almost anything. I think people take it way to seriously. Now, Phil Collins, for example. Amazing man.

Apparently Judy and Jill think it's funny to switch cell phones. When I tried to call Judy today, none other than Jill Vanderoef picked up the phone. What did she say? "La la, call my mom, call my mom!" Then she hung up. Bad reception? I doubt it. She probably was in the middle of something important, i.e., exorcism, basket weaving, etc.

Walking to economics today, I finally felt like a college student. I put on my maroon undershirt tank top today with my dark blue button up express shirt. The colors go together, but I have never done that before. I wore khaki pants, and bam...there I was, the college student. I was what I had grown to hate. I mean, what's the reason people dress all alike? Do they even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? I don't know, but I'm dying to find this store they all shop at.

But, I only felt like a college student. There was one essential element missing, but I pain to say that I don't believe I will ever fall victim to such a widespread, however quickly found, trend. It's called, flip flops. Sandals, flip flops, beach balls, whatever you kids wear on your feet nowadays won't make it's way near me. I promise you that much. So, to accurately display what a college student should look like, let's take a look at a diagram, care of the modern Abercrombie & Fitch®.

The above outfit supplied by Abercrombie & Fitch®.

Now, how much would you pay for an amazing college outfit like the one you see above? Let's break it down.

A: T-shirt, $12.95
B: Belt, $15.50
C: Shorts, $24.95
D: Flip-flops, $8.50

Now, that's not bad, is it? Total cost of the outfit comes to $61. Eh, that's a little expensive for an entire outfit maybe. The shorts are a little expensive, I guess you could say. The sad truth of this situation is that I totally made up those prices. Now, let's take a look at the real prices.

A: Excellent Growth Potential humor tee, $24.50
B: A&F Striped Moose Belt, $24.50
C: Corps Cargo, $49.50
D: A&F Nubuck Tread, $39.50

Now, the reality is when you give everything a real title, like "Striped Moose Belt," and "Nubuck Treads," you're not only technically insane, but you also are required to charge ten times what the item is worth. Total cost of outfit: $138. Excellent growth potential? Give me a break. Oh, and about flip-flops. I've never seen a quicker growing trend outside of Poke man, Gigabit Pets, and the Spice Girls. Shoes work for me just fine, theenks. There's no deep rooted reason why I don't like flip-flops. I have ten toes, and my feet don't look like this:

[ Click to enlarge ]

As I said, I have nothing to hide. I just like shoes. I can run, and get where I need to go on a moment's notice. I also like the feeling of taking off my shoes after a long day. Plus, I can kick people if I so desire. Oh, and if you were wondering, the model's name for the Abercrombie outfit is Brent Holland. He's available for chat. Just IM him at ImmortalHeElf02 on AIM.

macroeconomics (MACK ROW ECK OH NOM ICKS) n. The branch of economics that studies the overall working of a national economy.

I started reading the book before class, and I think that was a mistake. Some professors suggest that you read the material prior to coming to class so you can participate in class discussion and know what the heck you're talking about (NEGY). Well, I read parts of the economics book, and there were all these charts and graphs, and, and, it was horrible.

This digital morph combines actor Ray Liotta actor Paul Bettany into one. This is a fairly accurate counterfeit picture detailing how Mr. Wolpert would look if you saw him in person.

I walked in the class, and was on the top level. By that I mean I finally walked into the stereotypical college classroom, the one you see in all the movies with the huge, huge rooms and stadium seating, and overhead projector and desk in the front. Yeah, it was all there. Here comes this man walking in who looks like a cross between Ray Liotta (Identity) and Paul Bettany (A Beautiful Mind, Wimbledon).

If you noticed by looking at my schedule, you'd see the the economics class spans about three hours. Wow, crazy, right? Not exactly. Here's some interesting things about Mr. Wolpert's class: attendance is not mandatory (as most college classes, attendance is not required, however highly suggested), tests go right along with the class notes, the class project will be to answer 100 multiple choice questions - the answer to the questions will be GIVEN OUT in class, there are two semester exams - both of which you can choose to drop the grades if you want, the final exam is optional - if you take it, and you score high, that score will replace a bad semester exam. That's amazing, actually. Finally, a teacher who is solely interested in teaching the material rather than busy assignment and crap. I learned a whole lot tonight, not because he offered up a bunch of crap to us...but because he was INTERESTING, finally.

Three UCF students celebrate their love for Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. "I don't like roller coasters," says Jennifer (middle), "they make me feel like a man." Jennifer was never seen after that.

Needless to say, it's going to be an awesome class. What could be better than Macroecomics for Dummies taught by Paul Liotta-Wolpert? He's an amazing actor, and an amazing teacher. The 65th Annual Teacher Awards are coming up, aren't they...?

I love my psychology and economics class, so far. Math is math, and English seems like a regular high school class.

When I got back from economics tonight, I worked on my English essay for about an hour and finished it. I'm have no idea of the validity of the content, but it sounds good to me. If you'd like to read the essay, you'll need Microsoft Word 2003. It might be interesting to note that I finished the essay at 9:11 PM. I read in the current MLA guide to writing that you're only supposed to put one space in between sentences when you're writing. Well, I've always put two spaces because that's what I was taught when I was younger by teachers and whatnot. So, one space it is. Online, you can't put two spaces unless you insert special code, so it's easy here to follow MLA guidelines.

I should bring my digital camera here so I can take random pictures and upload them all the time. I don't like the Wal-Mart here in Orlando, and that's where I normally get my film processed.

It's 10:53 PM, and I love New York.

Algebra vs Purses

I got up at 8:10 PM. Class was at 8:30 PM. And no, class wasn't be held outside my door. So, I indeed had no time to shower to style my hair (sigh). I didn't even get a chance to go to the bathroom before I left this morning -- roommates, gotta love 'em. Nevertheless, I did make it to class on time.

Rewind.

I'm not sure if I've really stressed how much College Algebra made me freak out. She assigned a whole lot of problems, but that wasn't it. I didn't understand half of the material. It wasn't totally foreign to me, but I didn't know how to do a lot of it. The homework assigned and the material covered in class made it seem like I had someone's calculus homework. In fact, many of the problems in the book had asterisks next to them stating at the bottom of the page, "This is a calculus related problem." I skipped those problems. It could've been 2 + 2 and had that asterisk next to it -- I would have skipped right over that baby.

The worst part is that film majors don't even need college algebra. They only need a class called "finite math," course which I'm sure translates into the "I almost dropped out of high school" math course. Most of the people who take that are horrible math students, and most of them are simply getting degrees that have little to do with math whatsoever:

• Advertising/Public Relations
• Animation
• Art, Art History, Art-Studio
• Communication
• Communicative Disorders
• Criminal Justice
• English, Creative Writing
• Film, Cinema Studies
• Foreign Languages, Foreign Language Education
• French
• History
• Humanities
• Journalism
• Legal studies
• Liberal Studies, Liberal Arts
• Music, Music Performance
• Organizational Communication
• Philosophy
• Political Science
• Prelaw
• Public Administration
• Psychology
• Radio/TV
• Social Work
• Spanish
• Theatre
  

I walk into College Algebra¹ today and sat a seat away from Laura. She tried to trip me, the little whore. Anyway, after recovering from my near-death experience, I sluggishly pulled my notebook from it's home and placed it on the grassy knoll to write on. Ms. Plye made a few announcements, and then we jumped right into the material for that day.

It was easy.

Very easy.

I felt so good about it. I remember having fun doing my math today because it was so easy to understand and process in my mind. Now, for those of you who aren't aware, I do not like math in the slightest. In high school, I got an A in Algebra IA and IB, a B in Geometry Honors, a C in Algebra II Honors, a B in Trigonometry, and a B in Physics. Whoa, hold up, there spike. Did you say "honors math courses?" Why in the world would any sane person take honors math courses if they didn't like math? The answer is simple.

Honors Math Track at Flagler-Palm Coast High School

1. Geometry Honors
2. Algebra II Honors
3. Pre-calculus
4. Calculus
   

Standard Math Track at Flagler-Palm Coast High School

1. Algebra IA
2. Algebra IB
3. Informal Geometry
4. Geometry
5. Algebra II
6. Trigonometry
7. Probability & Statistics
8. Business Math
9. College Algebra

Jesse's Math Track at Flagler Palm Coast High School

1. Algebra IA
2. Algebra IB
3. Geometry Honors
4. Albegra II Honors
5. Trigonometry
   

In order for a student to receive the Scholastic Diploma, you have to have trigonometry or college algebra (which technically, is what I should have taken). So, instead of taking a lot of additional courses through the standard math track, I decided to jump from the honors to the standard, back and forth, creating a track that literally no one takes. However, this not only gave me my scholastic diploma trigonometry class, but it also gave me the additional weighted honors classes.

"Alright", you're thinking. "I see that you took harder classes to reduce the amount of classes, but you got good grades in those classes (for the most part). Why are you saying you're bad at math?"

Well, I am. But I'm a hard worker. Hard workers can go very far in any subject, even if they aren't very good at it. So, the moral of the math story is that I will stay in the college algebra class because I'm excited to take it. I'm excited to prove to myself that I can do it. Because, if I'm not doing things for myself, then what's the point?

"But wait one second, Jesse. Why are you even taking this math course? Your major doesn't need it!" Well, kids. I think the answer to that is simple. Let's say I decide to switch majors somewhere along the lines -- for whatever reason, and that new major requires College Algebra. Well, I'd have already taken Finite Math, right? So, now I'm taking College Algebra in addition to finite math -- when I can just take it now, get it over with, and live my life in peace.

Makes sense to me. I'm all about working harder on a project and getting it done with rather than spacing it out over the course time. Time is valuable to me. I spend time with the people I love, and that time is not to be taken by another math course. I will not allow it!

In this interesting shot, we see Daniel Keys (Jamie Lowe) singing over a wooden walkway, and also running away. This shot was composed accidentally, but displayed an interesting aesthetic appeal.

I worked on my latest video project, "two know" again in between classes. It's the wonderful video with Jamie Lowe and Jill Vanderoef (have I plugged them enough throughout this journal?). I started working on the singing part of the video, and I made some good progress. I actually moved a clip on top of another clip accidentally a few days ago, and just realized it today. The mistake made an amazingly interesting effect, and it's going to stay in the video. Wow, the way mistakes effect our lives. I guess it's good to make them every now and again.

In English class today, we watched a video on segregation. I now have a paper to write about segregation, and trust me when I say that I'll be posting it on here as soon as I finish writing it. Hopefully it'll be good enough for people to read and enjoy, but it is segregation. I mean, it's not exactly a topic of normal discussion. It's due Friday, so I'll probably post the literary masterpiece on Thursday night sometime. That's pretty much all we did there.

I hate walking. It's hot, it's long, and it's hot. I hate it.

I think I'm going to have to invest in some shorts. I have no shorts with me. I do not like wearing shorts.

I had some difficulty understanding how I.D. cards work here at UCF. Apparently, I.D. cards, or "Smart Cards," are good for many different things. Standard I.D. things such as library books and, well, for identification purposes. However, there are two other very valuable purposes for your card. First, you can load money onto the card and use it on campus. Unfortunately, you can only use smart cards on the UCF campus or at places that accept them -- and there are only a handful of those places around, and you can bet your bottom that they're only in Orlando. The Smart Card accounts are split up into sections that are referred to as "purses." Yeah, it's gay.

Purse 1 is used primarily for vending, laundry and copy machines. The maximum amount you may add is $80.00. The money on this purse is not PIN number protected so if the card is lost, the money is not refunded.

Purse 2 is used at the bookstore and for tuition only. The maximum amount you may add is $4000.00. The money on this purse is pin protected so if the card is lost, the money will be transferred to the replacement card after a 24 hour waiting period.

Purse 3 is used for food and retail purchases (excluding bookstore). The maximum amount you may add is $4000.00. The money on this purse is pin protected so if the card is lost, the money will be transferred to the replacement card after a 24 hour waiting period.

Anyway, purse one doesn't require you to use a PIN number (and let me be the first to tell you that the phrase PIN number, although used a lot, is completely redundant.Personal Identification Number number). Purse two is for the bookstore. Purse three is for food and retail purchases outside the bookstore. Problems: What if you don't know which purse you want to put money on? Can you move money from the various pursi? You can't use these cards off campus, so what's the point of even putting money on them?

Ah, and there lies the confusion. You can link your UCF Smart Card with your Suntrust® bank account. By doing this, financial aid money will automatically be put into your Suntrust account, whereas it would normally be mailed to you. Ah, good, that's much faster. Getting money faster is always good. Spending it faster is not. Also, by linking the accounts you can then use your UCF Smart Card as your Suntrust debit card. Interesting, no? So, maybe this Smart Card isn't so useless after all.

But wait. You can only use the Smart Card as a debit card in a place that you enter your PIN. For example, places like Wal-Mart, TARJAII, Old Navy, etc. Humm, so this is what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that the Smart Card is good for one thing -- identification. I'm thinking that linking them is good for one thing -- faster financial aid payment. And I'm think that your debit card should be used for everything else. Did I forget to mention that anywhere that Smart Cards are accepted, debit cards are also accepted? Well, that's what you'd normally think, but UCF, the geniuses that they are, have decided to start having "Smart Card Only" acceptance. So, they're trying, for God knows what reason, to force you to have money on both your Smart Card and your debit card. This entire process seems highly useless and promotes time-wasting activities. I'm not a fan of those.

So, I went back to my dorm shortly after and hopped on the computer. It started raining shortly after I got back. It's rained every single day since I've been here. I'm not liking the rain, actually. I mean, I don't have a problem with it. I'm not like the fifty or so people I saw today complaining about rain, and how they're going to miss class, and I'm thinking, "Uhh, walk in it." I hate people who are like, "I'm not a snowman, I'm not going to melt." Ha ha, cute. How many snowmen melt because it rains, girly? None, theenks. Anyway, even though I hate that saying, I have the same mentality as long as I'm not going somewhere important and non-good-appearance required.

That was at 2:08 PM. I worked on the "two know" video some more while I was there. I was just kinda waiting around. You do that a lot in college. You wait around for things to happen. I could have studied, but I didn't much feel like doing that at first. Judy was supposed to call sometime today, and I assumed she would, but I remembered I had my phone on silent. So, I checked my phone and, no, Judy wasn't there...but Paisley was -- on voicemail. Speaking of voicemail, I hope everyone's heard my new "Jamie Lowe" voicemail. If you haven't, call in and listen to it while you can. I'm probably going to change it soon, because it's sort of an inside joke (you have to have heard Jamie's answering machine to get the joke), and I don't want to scare off any potential friends. Oh, yeah, and Paisley fell for it.

So, Judy eventually called me. She had to meet down here with me to give me all the program information for Seussical. Let me just say that there is a crap load of things I have to design for this program. The program will probably run over twenty pages, so I'm curious to know how exactly they're going to get all this printed up and collated. Oh well, once I've designed it, it's out of my hands. Mr. MacDermid is pretty good about getting things done -- one way or the other. So, I have no lack of confidence in the program being created. I have already designed the front and back covers, and they look pretty good. We have to print them in grayscale, but we're going to print them on red paper. The designs are cool, and the red paper will look good.

So, I met Judy for all the ad information and we went to a lovely little Italian restaurant. Nothing too crazy happened. I tried to get up from the table to go to the bathroom, and I nearly knocked the table over when my foot got trapped on it (yeah, not too sure how that happened). Then, Judy and I were talking and we heard a wonderful conversation transpire a few booths away. Two older ladies were talking back and forth to each other, plain as day. They were talking rather loud, however, which made the entire situation even funnier.

crazy66: WHAT WAS THAT MOVIE CALLED?
crazy67: WHAT MOVIE?
crazy66: YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE BIG MAN.
crazy67: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
crazy66: YEAH, THAT WAS IT. A CRAZY MOVIE.

Neither Judy or I could help but laugh at this insane conversation. Afterwards, Judy and I had a very good talk about life. It's so wonderful to stay in contact with the people you truly care about. I'm so glad that she actually came down here to see me (she did not have to drop Ricky off at soccer practice, she came for me, and me alone). The things people do to go out of their way (RICKY DOESN'T EXIST).

That pretty much ended my night of activity. I came back home, started working yet again on the "two know" project with Jamie and Jill. I was thinking of interesting ways to end the video, and I came up with one pretty good ending. All I can say is that no one knows the ending except me. Anything that I've told anyone at this point is outdated, and there will be a twist at the end. So, ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves to sit at the Academy Awards and see me on stage for this project.

No, seriously, go buy a suit (gentlemen), or a dress (ladies, Tyler). It'll sure be a night to remember.

After working on the video project, I spoke with Rachel on the phone for awhile, but I didn't say on too long. I wanted to read some in The Wedding, which, I am currently still reading despite many popular criticisms from my fans. Yes, I am reading a novel, and yes, I am planning on finishing it. It's a very good book so far.

It's 3:15 AM, time to plug your nose, and skydive into a toilet.

Wal-Mart sucks

It seems more common these day for musical artists to look differently than you think they would. Many times you'll hear a song on the radio and you'll form an impression in your mind how they should look. Then, when their true image is revealed, most of the time you're shocked. Fefe Dobson (above) is a prime example.

Don't you hate it when you wake up in the morning with shingles? I know I do. Heck, I hate waking up with just a headache, which is what happened to me today. My only motivation to get up today was the idea of taking a shower. The warm water pouring down on me in the shower helped a little, but not much. I finally had to take some WAL-ACHE®. To those of you who are wondering, I didn't do my hair this morning. I had no time. But, it was a good thing I didn't do it. For I would have been very angry later.

Out the door.

My discussion-based algebra class is located in the Math and Physics building, or the MAP. While most of the UCF campus looks pretty contemporary, walking into the Math and Physics building, I felt like John Nash¹ walking into the ancient halls of Princeton University. This building has obviously been here for quite some time. How much time, you ask? Ha ha, you're silly.

On the first day on each class, everyone shows up about thirty minutes early. They all sit around in the hallway and stare at you as you walk by. They make you feel like you're stupid because they're sitting where they're supposed to be, and you're wandering around, playing detective -- you're living a dream, kid. I finally found my classroom on the forth floor. No elevators, my friend -- just stairs. And if that's not bad enough, they don't even have valet parking.

Jing Wu (above) teaches a discussion-based College Algebra at the University of Central Florida. Wouldn't it be convenient if he knew how to discuss? The Keymaker (below) was not available to teach this class.

The tired faces, the aching backs, and the blank stares were all ending when professor Jing Wu appeared like a professor in a hallway (good analogy? I thought so). Of course, we're anticipating one of two things when he begins speaking. We're expecting either a total meltdown of the English language with a horrible Chinese-buffet-employee accent, or a proficient "fake-you-out" China-man who has a totally normal speaking voice -- similar to the Keymaker in The Matrix Reloaded.

And buffet employee it is -- only worse.

Much worse.

Jinggy_Buffet: Hallo, wlcme to China palce. Wuld you jike to tie speceeals, tody?
Wife88: Aw, look honey! He's trying to speak English! Ha ha! Yes, sir, we'd like to tie the specials. Ha ha ha!

I'd actually be fine with buffet language. I mean, most Chinese people speak fine, but they just seem to leave out letters from words at total random. Yeah, that I could live with. However, this is different. This professor is the only man I've ever met in my life that can make simple Algebra problems sound like Calculus YZ.

OnlyWu2: Dfne da costine integeer of quadent of rombid binarie axzes, aund extpolea reslts to five significianciant vertces.
SrfrGrl83: Whoa, dude, now I know who came up with most Internet screenames.

Halfway through the class, people just started laughing because it was so crazy to have this man teaching this class. You have to think, this man is a professor at a University. How did he pass English if he can't speak it? Perhaps he can write it well? I doubt it. Speaking correctly is easier than writing correctly. Think of foreign language. Can you write a Spanish paper, or communicate in basic language easier?

I bought the movie Dark City for $5 at BestBuy. I love that movie, from what I can remember. I haven't seen it in many years. I'm not sure why it's $5, though. It's no Treat Williams special.

I also got two more rolls of film developed at Wal-Mart tonight. There will be a huge photo update coming up soon, I promise. There are about seventy or so pictures to format, and each one takes about sixty seconds to do. It adds up, kids. As soon as I can get the Seussical program off my docket, I'll be in the clear. The program cover looks pretty good, I think. But you'll have to wait until they're printed to see them. I rarely show anyone my "works in progress."

Speaking of Wal-Mart being the worst store in the world, I just feel that I have to say that Wal-Mart is the worst store in the world. At least the one near UCF is. Everyone, and believe me when I say, EVERYONE goes there. The lines are long. And I'm not talking about five o'clock in the evening at Palm Coast Wal-Mart Supercenter long. But, this is Orlando. I think these long lines are part of the whole "theme park" experience. Well, I don't like it.

The Orlando Wal-Mart Supercenter© (above) has installed turn styles and ticket booths in order to gain access to their main doors. Admission fees, however, are significantly cheaper than those of Universal Studios® and Disney World®©TM.

Kurtis spends quite a bit of time next door. I'm guessing that's because I don't talk to him. I just type on the computer. But hey, he could say something to me. It's not like I ignore him. He's been having problems with his computer all day. He can't register for classes or anything. Eh, he might as well drop out.

PSY 2012 - general psychology.

Walking to class today was fun until the rain starting pouring out of nowhere. This is the point in the day where I said to myself, "Good thing I didn't do my hair." Now, I'm not a FREAK about my hair, like most perceive me as. But, I'm not a fan of it getting messed up for no good reason.

No Good Reasons For Your Hair to Be Messed Up

• Someone thinks it's funny that I spend time on it, and they mess it up purposely. You are dumb, and you should be executed.
• Rain.
• People who like to randomly roll down the car windows in a car when we're going somewhere nice to eat, or somewhere where appearances are important. Idiots.
• I feel like this is an appropriate place to state that I am not a fan of people splashing water -- ever. Whether it's flicking water, splashing in a pool, or simply spitting gasoline at your boots, hoping for them to get a static charge and put your body up in blazes -- I don't care, I hate them all...especially when that messes up my hair.

Songs Lyrics of the Day

Title: Rainbow
Artist: Fefe Dobson

Your only a rainbow away
and I'm sitting here soaking wet, waiting for you
Your only a rainbow, just a rainbow away
and I'm reaching out hoping that you see it too

But telling you, that I'm no fool
Cuz I know what rainbows do

They fade away,
fade away,
fade away, away,
stormy days, found its way
and I wish I could hold you now

I' am only a rainbow away, my friend
And if you could see
what others see
You wouldn't feel so bad

And I'm telling you
Cuz I've been there too,
that storms are like rainbows too

They fade away,
fade away,
fade away, away,
stormy days,
drift away,
and may someone be holding you now.

I walked into class today soaking wet. I was immediately greeted by Palm Coast veterans Michael Ferrari and Michael Leby. Now, I've never really talked to either the two, but I had a good little chat with them. We basically just made jokes the entire class. I did indeed have a fun time. Kimberly Blythe walks in after that, and then I was convinced that Palm Coast has indeed moved to Orlando². The professor, Dr. Negy³, spends about twenty minutes handing out syllabuses. Finally, he starts talking to the class...making a few jokes here and there, but by the end of the class, I was impressed. He made me laugh out loud a few times -- mostly because he's a professor, and anytime someone is partially funny who isn't stereotypically thought of to be funny is perceived as funnier than they really are, but he was actually funny. I can tell that I'm going to have a good time in that class. It'll be the one I look forward to each week. I'm sure I won't let any of the crazy psychological theories work their ways into my everyday dialogue, however. Sometimes people take classes, and they feel like they're so smart, and they have to try and use the information in everything they say. I'm definitely not like that, at all.

I'm getting worried about my macroeconomics class. Now, I know Alex Walsh is going to read this and go say something like, "Dude, it's easy." Well, dude, you're easy. Bernice Lopez could seduce you in no time. Give it a rest, already, bucko. You're sexual desires are just fueled by your inability to correctly finger paint, but you don't know that because it's an unconscious feeling that you've suppressed when you were a child. Whereas many little children your own age were captivated by stories such as Snow White and Green Eggs and Ham, you were listening intently to the Greek youth pertaining to Pandora. Your grandmother frequently cautioned you about this enigmatic box since the time that you were very young. However, your mother’s favorite words of wisdom were, “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”. You weren’t quite certain in what way you were supposed to benefit from such abstruse advice, but you, nonetheless, decided to abuse yourself – physically and emotionally. Razors, chains, rope, knives, guns, alcohol, drugs, and cereal are just a few things that you could buy at Wal-Mart, if you didn’t have to WAIT IN THE LINES SO LONG. Of course, you probably don’t even know what you’re thinking, half the time. So don’t preach to me about knowing economics, Snow White.

The rain subsided after class for awhile. I went to Barnes & Nobel again and studied Math for awhile. And when I say "studied math for awhile," I really mean I looked at the book, realized that I don't know what I'm doing, and put it away (no comments, Mr. Walsh). I love Barnes & Nobel, nonetheless. I often browse for books for hours at a time. I find the smell of fresh coffee and taste of new books most appealing.

Rachel called tonight and she was lost in the slums of Richmond. Yeah, basically she was on 95, and she took the wrong exit, and then landed in Bunnell, Richmond. So, I spent about thirty minutes on the phone with her trying to get her home. She doesn't have a very good sense of direction. However, during our phone conversation, she had an excellent sense of humor, which, to me, is far more important. She must have said that she had to go to the bathroom about fifteen times. I stopped giving her directions when she screamed through the phone a few times:

r_k: I KNOW WHERE I AM! I KNOW WHERE I AM! I KNOW...WHERE...I AM!

She then thanked me, and we talked for a while longer. She went to the bathroom. The night was good.

OCTOBER ALERT: I've been alerted to a wonderful new web-page. It's called, Bridgeschool, and this specific site has Halloween costumes for students with disabilities. Be sure to check it out, and thanks to Bill who supplied that link via his AIM profile.

I received an interesting IM tonight. It looked something like this:



Oh wait, it looked exactly like that.

The new Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary is now available. In it's tenth edition, most college English courses recommend you obtain this book for class. The author of this book is a respected publicist (name in bottom right corner of book).

It seems more common these day for musical artists to look differently than you think they would. Many times you'll hear a song on the radio and you'll form an impression in your mind how they should look. Then, when their true image is revealed, most of the time you're shocked. Fefe Dobson (above) is a prime example.

I went over to her dorm (she attends UCF as well, obviously) in the Nike complex. I truly want to live over in that dorm area next year. It was so pretty! Awesome designs and cool room layout in Ashley's dorm. She has a wonderful roommate, Jessie, and a totally cool suitemate (if that's what you'd call it), Kristen. I talked with the three of them at length about many issues -- the three "p's" to be exact-- personal, promotional (my DVD), and prostitution. Ashley really needs to cut down on that last one.

Then, I called Rachel, scared the crap out of her with a long narrative about my life, and then got off the phone on a beautiful and lovely note. I can't wait for tomorrow. The day will be good -- I won't let it do anything else.

I'm hungry. 1:43 AM.

¹For those of you playing the home game, John Nash was the character played by Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.

²This is not to be taken literally. Obviously, it's not possible for a city to move to another city. To those of you who were offended by this comment, I apologize.

³It's good to note that Dr. Negy did indeed write the textbook for the class. He does not mind sharing that with you throughout the class, either...multiple times. Did I mention that he wrote the textbook?

College is a movie

I use the term "movie" freely to mean "part of your life." So, college, to me, is just another movie. College has it's deposits, housing problems, parking permits, roommates, deposits, books, I.D. cards, meal plans, libraries, deposits, crazy people, and did I mention depos...ah, well, you get the picture.

I woke up today quite early. 6:30 AM good enough for you? Yeah, well, it was too much for me. However, I didn't want to be late for good 'ol college algebra. The teacher was nice enough, Ms. Dunlop-Pyle. She seems a lot like a regular high school teacher. Not much craziness here. The classroom looked smaller than the "movie-style" huge university classrooms, but it seated about 400 kids or so. Now, I know what many of you are thinking. What about, "I only wanna be with WU?" Take a look at my information page, and you'll see that I have two college algebra classes, one with Pyle (lecture) and one with Wu (discussion). So, I get the best of both worlds. Never hurts to have a little sushi with your math. However, walking into the class, something very interesting took place -- from behind me, not twenty seconds after walking in, I hear...

JESSE CHAPMAN!

Who could it be? None other than the hair-straightening LAURA NEGRON (names have been "whitted" out to protect the innocent. Just highlight over the text to reveal the mystery person). Yes, it was her. The mysterious figure who's haunted my dreams ever since I stopped wetting the bed. So...going on, three weeks now.

I still don't have a can opener.

So, she screams my name, comes up to me, and we sat together all class. We did have a good time, though. We made fun of pretty much everything there is to make fun of -- which is what Laura's best at. We were walking with each other after class when some random comes up to me and starts asking a bunch of questions. Well, if there's one thing I've learned about college, it's to pretend you know everything there is to know. If someone asks a question, make up an answer based on what you already know, then follow it with some safe, non-trapping excuse to allow yourself some leeway. Example:

Loser6654: Excuse me, hey, you're in my residence hall, aren't you?
Me_Me_Me: Yeah, hi. What's going on?
Loser6654: Well, I'm not sure where the classes for the MOD rooms are. Do you know where they might be? It says here on the map that it's behind the communications building.
Me_Me_Me: Yeah, actually. They are behind the communications building. But, I'm not sure where, exactly. They change it every year.
Loser6654: Oh, okay. Thanks!

Like I said, make it up.

So, I saw some famous people today, which inspired me to make a separate section in the journal. It's called People Who Go to UCF (Even if They Don't Know It) (currently not available). More people will be added as they are sighted. As you've probably noticed, I actually redesigned the entire journal section with an updated title, and a fun little introduction graphic. Hope you enjoy that.

I was happy when I got my books today, although it was a crazy rush to do so. People screaming in lines, "I need ENC 1101," "Excuse me, ma'am, I need PSY 2021, do you have 2021?" "You ain't my babies daddy!" Ah, young love. The parking pass was much easier to acquire. Everything seemed to work out fine today for me until later in the night, but that's another story.

Poor Kurtis was trying to figure out the Internet connection here at UCF. I pretended not to really know what was going on, and such. You know, the standard, "Yeah, I had that problem," as to not make him feel bad, or anything. Truth is, I could tell he wanted to ask me how to do it. Well, if he would have asked at that moment, I would have told him that I ran the CD that came included with my welcome package. I'm assuming most people just think it's some sort of introductory crap, but it was in fact the registration and activation key for your computer. It's all very high tech, actually.

A few minutes passed and the question came:

Kurt_Douglas53: Uh, dude, do you know how to register?
Me_Me_Me: Umm, let me see where you are in the process.

So, there's my community service for the year. Helping a man I don't even know, and it wasn't even as dangerous as crossing the street. So, I simply follow the instructions, click on the link to download the program.

Me_Me_Me: Well, that's it, just let that baby download, and the...n...

And then the error message came.



Of course we all knew what that meant. Something was wrong, but no one knew what, exactly. Even with my years of computer experience, I couldn't figure out the problem. He had his computer plugged in. It was on. A wire was running from his computer to the ethernet network connection. He was registering for the network access codes. He did everything as I did, except it wasn't working for him. Kurtis was on the phone for awhile with the HELP DESK (a sacred tribe of people who worship things like Half-Life: Counter-Strike, and do nothing to help the innocent UCF students with their simple-minded problems) But, Kurt was only one the phone for a few minutes when...a single EVIL from next door walked in.

Braids_in_Hair25: So, did you get it working?
Kurt_Douglas53: Uh, no, dude.
Braids_in_Hair25: What's wrong?
Me_Me_Me: It's telling him that he's not connected to the Internet. I'm not sure what the problem is.
Braids_in_Hair25: You sure you got the wires plugged in?
Kurt_Douglas53: Yeah, in the big phone jack one.

Brady peeked around the back of the computer. It wasn't more than ten seconds before he comes back around and says the most amazing sentence I'd heard in over an hour.

Braids_in_Hair25: You can't plug a phone cord into a network port.

What the...? Did I miss that? Yes, I did. Kurt, with all his genius, had plugged the phone wire into the network port in the wall. That's like putting EasyMac in the fireplace. It's just not going to work. Well, I think that Brady has earned the right to be considered less than evil. So, now the two people in the room next to me will be referred to as:

"THE LESS THAN EVIL"

I think it's only fair.

Well, it was time for English class, ladies and gentlemen. The hour had come, and I was ready to take on the world. I walked into the class hoping to see another lecture hall, but indeed the class was quite small. A class of about twenty-five students, if that. I sit down in the front row of the class, and in walks this crazy looking man of about fifty.

Mr. Steven Ethridge (AKA BILL, above) has a masters in English and martial arts.

So, my teacher (whom I will now refer to as BILL, for his striking resemblance to the man from the popular movie, KILL BILL: Volume II) walks into the room like he's looking for something. He's scattered, and doesn't quite know what to do. He finally gets his computer to start working and announces to the class:

Mr. Bourguignon (above) made his debut film appearance in Haiku Tunnel. It's said that the movie is very confusing, people lose interest in it quickly, and no one pays attention to him when he's talking. Ah, just like Physics.

KILLbillKILL: I don't have anything to hand out to you today.

Well, that was certainly a surprise. However, he gave us the super helpful web-site: http://reach.ucf.edu/~enc1101a. Feel free to take a look at my class syllabus. So, that must be the popular thing to go now. Everything is pretty much handed out online. Environmentalist around the world are celebrating as I type.

That's interesting. I just heard Kurtis call John "Bert." Humm...we'll have to think of a fun nickname for him. And Brady's name is "Brady," just for the record.

I spoke with Judy for awhile today. We talked about Seussical, and how the costume designer was in a car accident. Or...was that going to happen...I can't remember. Amanda and I spoke briefly today, as well. I'm thinking of a good time go visit her campus and see what's up with her. Hopefully, I'll have some time soon to do that. I recorded a new voice mail greeting that I'm hoping JAMIE LOWE will hear (if he ever decides to call me again). I'm not leaving it like that for long, kiddos. So, call while you can.

I went to Barnes & Nobel to study for algebra tonight. I got really stressed out. Take a look at this:

p2: 2, 3, 5 -10, p4: 1-17, p6: 1-9, p17: 1-21 odd, 23, 29-43 odd, 52, p27: 1-15 odd, 29 41 odd, p36: 1-37 odd, p46: 1, 3, 9, 11, 17, 21, 25, 29, 33, 35, 53, 55.

This is the house that Jake built. Well, not exactly. But it is the apartment that he and Rachel are staying in. Rachel has the bigger bedroom (most likely so she can invite man men to sleep with her in bed. Her and Amanda are very similar in that regard). Other than the obvious prostitution uses, the apartment looks very nice. I wish I had a kitchen.

Humm, seems like a lot of work to me. I was working on it in the store tonight, and I got really stressed out. The material is old, my mind was tired, and...I don't really even need the course. The only reason I'm taking it is because it's a required course for many majors. Film, however, is not one of them. But, if for some unforeseen consequence or reason, I decide to change my major, then I'll later have to take an additional math course. So, I'm not prepared to take more math than I need to.

I avoided taking multiple math courses like Liberal Arts in high school simply by taking advanced math courses.

Does that make sense?

I hate it so much, but I'd rather work really hard on a harder class and get it done with. That theory just went straight down the drain when I took Mr. Bourguignon, though.

Rachel and I talked for a little bit tonight. Not too long, though, because I had to type this lovely piece of literature. I asked her a million questions about her college and everything. Things are very different with her up there since they don't have a state-funded scholarship like Bright Futures. She's living in an apartment with a high-school friend of hers, Jake, whom I've talked to over the phone only once -- but he is worthy of living with Rachel. He seems like a very nice person, and he's interested in my craft (BONUS POINTS!) I'd love to meet him. In fact, I may visit up in Virginia in the October month, but I'll have to speak with my mom on such matters. I think she knows how much it means to me to spend time with my friends -- especially one as special as her.

I spoke with Katie online tonight about college life, and spoke with Martha MacDermid, one of Judy's old high school gal-pals, at length. Both of them are doing fine.

Today, math and english. Tomorrow, math and psychology. Now, sleep. 1:45 AM.

The Wedding

"Is there anything you want to say," she asked after a moment.

I hesitated, aware there was more to her question than its innocence implied. I thought perhaps that she was referring to a new hairstyle, but I looked carefully and her hair seemed no different from usual. I'd tried over the years to notice such things. Still, I was at a loss, and as we stood before each other, I knew I had to offer something.

"How was your day?" I finally asked.

She gave a strange half smile in response and turned away.

I know now what she was looking for, of course, but at the time I shrugged it off and went back to work, chalking it up as another example of the mysteriousness of women.

Later that evening, I'd crawled into bed and was making myself comfortable when I heard Jane draw a single, rapid breath. She was lying on her side with her back toward me, and when I noticed that her shoulders were trembling, it suddenly struck me that she was crying.

That's an excerpt from Nicholas Sparks' new novel The Wedding, to which I was unaware is a sequel to The Notebook¹. Browsing through Barnes & Nobel, I found that along with Mitch Alborne's The Five People You Meet in Heaven, and a few other books. The people who've known me the longest are forming simple equations in their minds:

J + n = no solution, where J is Jesse and n is novels, and, well, has he lost his mind? No, I haven't lost my mind, my friends. I've just realized that I do enjoy reading, but I have trouble finding time to myself. That's going to change, now, that I've found a wonderful book with an amazing first chapter that intrigues me, and begs me to pay Nicholas Sparks $11.95. He' s a nice guy, and I suppose he deserves some credit for his handiwork.

Jamie called me while I was reading in the store today. I thought that was very nice of him, so I decided to get up and do my walk and talk on the phone routine. I always feel the need to walk whenever I talk on the phone. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's my only form of real exercise. Who knows? Regardless, I do indeed enjoy myself talk to friends on the phone. Jamie and I talked for a little bit, but not too long, because in the midst of our conversation, a Barnes & Nobel employee felt the need to take the books from my table (with me standing five feet from the table, mind you) and walk away with them.

Me_Me_Me: Oh, those are mine. Excuse me...?
JerkBookeeper8: I am ignoring you and will continue to walk away with the books you spent thirty minutes searching for. I will place the books back on the shelves of the store, in an effort to make you search for them again, and hopefully find ten more books that you will, then, feel like you need to buy them all. Ha ha ha, don't you see? It's all about corporate marketing. You will NEVER FIND YOUR BOOKS, AGAIN! HAHAHAHA!
Me_Me_Me: EXCUSE ME. Those are my books.
JerkBookeeper8: Oh, sorry.

Paisley (above) spends anywhere from five to forty minutes on her hair each day, depending on what style she's interested in that day.

I didn't really feel inclined to sneak around this morning. In fact, I woke up around 11:30 AM, and got right up and into the shower. The bathroom was completely free of the Johnny Mac or Greg Brady. Into the shower I went, out of the shower I came -- a new man, so to speak, like you, apparently, cleeeaann...

Yes, I styled my hair at length again today. I figured that since Kurt Douglas is still off making babies, movies, and out, I'd enjoy my privacy while it lasts. Let's face it, no man can spend more than thirty-five seconds styling his hair unless he's either (A) a woman or (B) gay. Since A really isn't possible, and B really isn't true, I fall under the mysterious (C) category -- the metrosexual². I'm sure many of you have heard of that, but many of you probably haven't. Either way, people can misinterpret that for many different things. Ah, well, that's their fault to judge, right? Of course. I can't allow myself to get caught up in protecting my self image. Not this early on in the game, anyway. I am me, and that's who is I. There is no "i" in team, but there certainly is an "i" in me, two in fact, and I use them everyday.

I haven't figured out a good way to hang my corkboard or MATRIX REVOLUTIONS poster in my room yet. There really isn't any easy way to do that. You can't put tacks into the walls, but there are tack strips in the walls where you are allowed to tack things, but the tack strips aren't really fully on the walls, they wobble, I guess you could say, and so, in the end, anything put on these so-called "strips" will shimmy until ultimately crashing on the floor in pieces. Take my word for it, nothing of value should be hung up there. So, feel free to hang the following list of items on my dorm room tack strip:

1. Summer reading novels


To find out how to cook this wonderful recipe, and many more casseroles, please visit the official Betty Crocker recipe pages!

2. Parents
3. "The Best of Delilah, Magic 107.7 CD Collection"
4. "FROST: Portrait of a Vampire"
5. Any song by The Darkness, other than "I Believe in a Thing Called Love"
6. Mr. Delbrugge's morning announcements
7. People who yell, "SHOTGUN" when vying for the front seat
8. The last five minutes of "Open Water"
9. Tuna casserole
10. Judy Vanderoef

I almost stabbed myself today when I attempted to organize my new silverware. Well, that's a slight exaggeration, kill. When I tried to open the cylindrical case for the silverware, the knives decided to shoot out a little fast than the spoons, unfortunately, and naturally, I grabbed -- the knives flew out, I caught one of the four, and juggled it one handed, caught it, and, for whatever reason, stabbed myself with it.

Yes, this really happened.

But here's where the "kill" becomes the exaggeration. They were butter knives. Ah, yes, the denouement of the knife tale. Lucky for me, there was no real falling action, however.

Older predator-style microwaves have been replaced with newer, countdown timer-style microwaves that any person understanding the basic mathematical system can operate. No more over-cooking your favorite dishes, such as "Alien Brain Pasta."

I think I was shafted when I chose the white microwave, as I've stated in previous entries. I'm really starting to miss my older, predator microwave. They just don't make them like they used to. But, this microwave works just fine for what I need it for -- Easy Mac and hot dogs.

That's what I've been eating these past few days -- Easy Mac, hot dogs, and sandwiches. The famous ham, cheese, mayonnaise, and salad dressing sandwich (don't throw up, it's actually very tasty!) I also bought TUNA! Don't you just love tuna? I think it's so good. In fact, I bought four cans. Today, I got a huge craving for tuna, so I decided to make myself a little sandwich Now, there are many people who say that they prefer to mix mayonnaise and tuna in a bowl or something similar and then spread the mix on bread. Others say that you should just throw the two on a sandwich, and go with it. Well, I chose the latter -- not because of taste preference, but because it's the most expedient exercise. Time is essential at this point, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh yeah, and I don't have a can opener.

So, tuna was out the window. I felt the need to punish the bread and mayonnaise for not reminding me to get a can opener, so I didn't eat them at all -- for about thirty minutes. After not eating, I was still hungry (go figure), and decided to just make a classic ham, cheese, mayonnaise, and salad dressing sandwich (yes, I know, I'm ready to throw up now). Once you have your mind set on a certain meal, it's hard to switch modes -- even if the alternative is tasty and good.

Did I mention that the store was out of real mayonnaise, so I had to opt for Miracle Whip? Now, some people will contest that it's the same thing. Well, it's not. Miracle Whip burns like diarrhea coming out of your nose.

I didn't even realize that I had scalded my tongue until today. I'm assuming it was from the first night of tasting the crapperoni I cooked in the microwave. Yeah, first the old 750 watts didn't do much, but then it nearly set the building on fire. The bowl slightly melted. Yeah, forgot to explain that one. That has to be why my tongue feels burned. You all know that feeling, too, don't play with me. Whenever you eat something, you can feel it, there...burning...it hurts. The salad dressing on that sandwich really burned. Ooh, but it was so good.

Rachel called me while I was working on the computer, and I took some time out to chat with her. She was the first person to call my dorm! I'm so excited about that...knowing that my phone works. But, unfortunately, the phone line is shared by both me and Kurt Douglas. So, I'm confused as to why two phones are even necessary. So, if anyone calls that line, please be forewarned that you may get hold of a movie star whose career isn't exactly at its peak.

Anyway, while Rachel was on the phone, I heard the EVIL talking about the mandatory meeting that we all had to go to tonight for the housing...whatnot...whatever. So, I came out of my room, made a few jokes, and retreated. They laughed. That's a sign of life. That's a good sign.

A taste of reality: things are randomly stressful here. It's all dependent on what you think about. I don't have books, I don't have parking permit stuff, and I just got a one binder for class. I have food, though, which is good, and the ability to communicate with people. That's the most important things to me, right now.

Alright, reality check...I don't need everything at once, I know. I'm going to order my books tomorrow, I suppose. I heard from my beloved roommate that some professors don't even use the textbooks. So, that's comforting.

This lovely frock is an example of some collegewear specifically designed to make you look cool. Many famous celebrities don this style: Jill & Kristen Vanderoef, James Lowe, & Tyler Teachworth.

For dinner tonight, I felt the need to go crazy and get myself a pizza. Problem was, by the time I was hungry, it was past midnight. So, I trekked out for some food, and found a lovely 24-HR Papa John's. Yeah, I'll be there quite a bit. Not even three days have gone by, and I'm already a "college kid." Ah, geezers. Now, all I need are some screen t-shirts with random things on them that I'm not actually involved in. Please visit Hollister Co (AKA, College Outfitters). in order to see exactly what I'm talking about.

So, it's 1:31 AM now. There he sits, across the room. Actually, he's not five feet away from me. It's Kurt Douglas, or more technically, Kurt Vandestreek -- the big man on campus. Well, he's actually just a random guy who's my roommate, but hey, a kid can dream, can't he?

Kurtis and I aren't talking. In fact, he's been like this ever since the night I forgot his dinner party. I mean, I know, I'm not obligated to go...but, I mean, it must have hurt his feelings. There he goes again, typing things into his phone. Great balls of Richmond,, what a endearing soul.

Lies. The 8x10 of Marilyn Monroe is tacked to my corkboard. I can't even find a good frame for it. If I did, that baby would be in a frame so fast. But maybe it's better that it's not in a frame. I mean, then I'd have to find something to tack it to, and...we know where that'd lead us.

Class starts at 8:30 tomorrow³. More things happened today, but I am sorry to say that I must go to bed. I know, I know...Jesse, the alnighter...who needs sleep when you're Jesse Chapman? Well, there is one person...and that's me.

¹If you've seen the movie, "The Notebook," but haven't read the book, you might be asking how a sequel is possible. Well, not only is the movie ending irrelevant in terms of where and how this sequel is taking place, but the book and the movie end differently.

²metrosexual (met.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. An urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.

³I will have a full update tomorrow on the events that transpire. Look forward to reading yet another complete waste of time, right here on College is a Movie starring Jesse Chapman.

The EVIL

Not to say that I don't miss my friends and family, but these past few hours of awayness have been just what I've needed.

Awake.

I got up today at 1:30 PM. You know what that means, kids. That's right, the alarm was set for the reasonable 11:00 AM and the snooze went off multiple times. Speaking of my alarm clock, I think now is a good time to explain about the new miracle device. This amazing clock will automatically set the time, date, and year just by plugging it in. Also, it memorizes the alarms for roughly thirty seconds after being unplugged -- incase you need to move the clock to a different outlet or such. I'm going to have to force myself to get back into some normal sleeping patterns soon. Classes do indeed start monday. But, who needs classes? I can see just fine.

It's hard to go to the bathroom when you don't have access to the room in question. The nextdoorers were in the bathroom all morning. Oh boy, did I have to go to the bathroom! I mean, you could always go in the sink, but who'd do such a crazy thing?

I tend to get pretty weird around people I don't know. For example, there are those morning hours when I love to appear inhuman and automatically ready. I snuck into the shower today. Literally. I waited for the people in the room next to ours (you know who I'm talking about -- John and Braids in Hair. I will henceforth refer to as the EVIL) to become distracted, and then I made my move. The EVIL didn't have a chance to see me. I was like the lightning in the sea -- quick, however soft.

It didn't take long for them to realize that I was in the shower, though. Fortunately for me, I made the quick retreat back into my room before they could catch me. I locked the door and waited until I needed to leave (which I try to avoid at all costs). So, I did what any sensible guy would do behind locked doors when they have a lot of free time on their HANDS and plenty of alone time. I took me a good twenty minutes, but I think that it was satisfying.

I styled my hair.

I also tried to call my new UCF phone number a few times. It wasn't until the second try that I realized I was calling the EVIL next door. Apparently, the numbers that housing gave me were the switcharoo numbers. 44 instead of 43. Silly phone service. All is well in the Denmark phone service, however. Speaking of phones, I forgot my cell phone charger at home. Someone needs to kick me a few times.

May it be the winds, the Gods, or the forces of nature -- whatever caused it, I'm not sure. But, as sure as laundry, the EVIL knocked on my door around 3:15 PM. I looked through the peephole in the door, but the faces I saw were what any person would normally see while watching COPS (i.e., the peepholes are useless).

I open the door to find, not the EVIL, but the man himself -- Kurtis Vandestreek. Ah yes, Vandestreek. Not "steen" as I had thought yesterday. He's not an ugly man, to be quite honest, thank goodness. I mean, can you ever really take ugly people seriously? I can't. I will have a picture of him online as soon as we've gotten past that weird stage where I can't really do any normal activities with him. You know what I mean. If I were to ask him for a picture now, he'd freak out and probably move in with the EVIL (humm, not such a bad idea...?).

Kurt_Douglas53: Hey.
Me_Me_Me: Hello.

Alright, so it wasn't stimulating conversation, but it wasn't bad. I don't think we'd be friends if we had went to the same high school and knew each other, but I don't think we would have been enemies. I get the Mark Russell or Alex Morse, but a little nicer feeling from him at this point. I could be wrong, but I am rarely wrong about my people sense. He basically walked around and moved all his stuff inside the room. Come to find out, Kurtis and the EVIL all knew each other from high school. So, the three of them are friends, and I'm out to lunch. Well, I don't think that'll be so bad. Maybe he'll hang around with them all the time. Just as I was about to go to the store for some consumables, I heard a very interesting conversation transpire in the hallway.

xxJohnxx: Yeah, so what are you up to?
Kurt_Douglas53: Yeah, I'm gonna go back home tonight.
xxJohnxx: Really?
Braids_in_Hair25: Oh, do you have plans with...
Kurt_Douglas53: Yeah, yeah...
Braids_in_Hair25: Cool.
xxJohnxx: Cool.

He was gone by 6:00 PM. And I think you know why, ladies. He had plans with....well, you know. Speaking of 6:00 PM, there was some sort of "get-together" today in the pouring rain that I was supposed to attend. It was being held outside, again, in the pouring rain. I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain, but I sure do mind spending it with a bunch of college movie characters.

Speaking of which -- that reminds me. I was thinking today that college seems like a movie. You know when you watch college movies...you get those college looking people, with those college jokes, and those college clothes, and...it's just some weird style thing. I can't explain it. It's the voices, the attitudes, the dress. Yes, well, this seems like one huge movie. Notice how there is also always an Asian friend? Do they really exist? I'm thinking no. Can't we all just wear normal clothes, hang around, and talk? Do we have to go visit bars, and go clubbing and get drunk?

Welcome to the real world, I guess.

Did I mention that I miss everyone? I do.

Well, after Kurtis left I found myself looking for things to do. So, I ventured to the local TAR-JEY, as idiots would refer to it (TARGET). Only one problem -- it was raining. Was the umbrella in my dorm room where I could easily access it? Of course not. That'd wouldn't make for a good story. The umbrella was in the FO-KOOSE, my lovely car, aways away in the parking garage. Ah, the things we do for the people we love. I put a plastic bag over my face, peeled away eye holes, and ran for cover. I pulled a few James Bond jumps over puddles, and ultimately one huge leap over the wall of the parking garage. Alright, so got some things, spent about $60, did good. Got a lot of random food products. Mayonnaise!

I came home, put everything away, and that was that. I worked on the highly anticipated, "IF YOU'RE NOT THE ONE (2K DUET MIX)" video. I will release to the public this information only:

The title of the project as of now is:

"two know"

Here we see veteran actress Jillasthon Vanderoef (top) and musical theater genius James "Woods" Lowe III (belowe) involved in the LIFE ALERT heart attack commercials. Notice how realistic their heart attack faces are.

"The pain, the pleasure, the love." - Life Alert Spokesperson

This title could, but probably won't, change. Anyway, I'm making some real progress on that video. It'll hopefully be done for Labor Day weekend, so I can most likely bring it home and show the kids. This is the single most extensive video project I've ever worked on before. Ironically enough, the second place winner is my Mrs. Kuiper video project. Not that it needed to be that crazy, but it certainly was. The Lynching comes in a close third, and Die Another Day comes fourth, in case anyone was wondering my video difficulty history.

I got really tired of working with that video after while, so I called a few people. It was good to talk to some familiar sounding dolphins. Speaking of dolphins, after I got off the phone, I switched mine sets and went to the movies -- alone.

But it wasn't bad. I had a good time. I saw the movie, "Open Water." You can find a concise review over on the Reel Review page. Hope you all enjoy that.

Of course, after Open Water, I felt the need to go to Wal-Mart. I had to get some Allergy Eye drops, and I wanted to see if they carried the "EXTRACTOR" at this Wal-Mart (if you know what that is, good for you, if you don't, just think SCARY). Of course, I had to have something crazy happen to me at Wal-Mart. So, I walk over to this nice man to ask him if he knew where the sporting goods center was.

Me_Me_Me: Hello.
CantHearYou21: [points to his ear] YEEEEAAAHEEEEYYAAAHEE AHHHHH EEAAAHHHH!

Yeah, the poor man was deaf, so he decides to make me very aware of that by screaming some crazy call to the wild at me. A simple point would have been just fine.

Oh, and I found the sporting goods center fine, theenks.

Not much else happened after that. I went back to the old dormaroozie, worked on the video some more, and eventually started writing this wonderful narrative. Hope you all enjoyed it. I'm not sure how many more of these I'll be able to write in a row, but hopefully I'll do my best. I'm almost positive they'll become shorter over the coming weeks, but rest assured -- these are fun for me to write, and I know some people have fun reading them. Judy said she almost wet herself!

Yes, I did just publicly announce that. But, Judy also publicly announces it every time she's like, "Guys, I just crapped my pants, and I have to go to the bathroom to wash my pants." Ahh, Judy.

My first day at college

Note: The early blog posts of "College is a Movie" were posted on a different site -- judyhoof.com. As you can see, they have since been moved to their own site. Some of the references may be old or outdated, but are retained for nostalgia. Okay, maybe not nastalgia. Maybe I don't feel like going through and editing all that stuff out. Deal with it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am taking over. This is your favorite webmaster, Jesse Chapman, reporting LiVE from the University of Central Florida. Since I do not have a LiVEJOURNAL, and I will not be obtaining one for any real purpose anytime soon, I will be writing in Judy's online journal here. You will be able to find updates about my life at college, basically. If I feel like it enough, I may create an entire new section, instead of just using Judy's journal here (not like she uses it, or anything). = )

For those of you who were concerned with the small man underneath my car that was making crazy sounds as he was being drug across the freeway, rest assured that he is safe and freed. The car is fine, and funny enough -- there was a nail in the tire that was making the crazy sounds. Everything is in running order.

I don't think I've sweated this much in a long time. Rule #1, always have someone move your stuff into your dorm/apartment with you. For those of you who don't know, I am sharing a dorm with someone who seems to be very nice. I haven't met him yet, but his name is Kurtis Vandesteen (I believe that's the correct last name spelling). Regardless, I think it's funny that he has "VANDE" in his name! Gives me a taste of life back in Palm Coast. Ah, the good old days.

Anyway, back to the sweat and rules. I had to bring everything up the stairs by myself. Cases of books, lamps, hampers, lights, bulbs, light bulbs, refrigerators, washers, dryers, chairs, desks, beds, and windows. Those are just a few of the many objects I did not carry anywhere tonight. But, if you are interested in what I carried, here you go: clothes, suitcases, food, and the COMPUTER CENTER. Which is the only way I'm relaying this wonderful message to you right now.

Although I did not meet the wonderful Mr. Vandesteen, I did indeed meet John and Brady -- the two wonderful people who reside next door, and share a bathroom with Steen and I. Steen, John, and Braids know each other from high school. I do not have a clue who any of them are (well, with the exception of the small conversation John and Braids had with me):

Note: For whatever reason, I used to post actual conversations in the form of instant messaging conversations. So, these conversations are real, unless otherwise noted. But this should be obvious because you can't shake hands with a computer.

xxJohnxx: You must be Jesse.
Me_Me_Me: Yes, that's me. [Shakes hand] How are you doing?
xxJohnxx: Good. This is Brady.
Me_Me_Me: Hello. [Shakes hand]
Braids_in_Hair25: Hello.
Me_Me_Me: Well, I spoke with Kurtis on the phone, and he said you all know each other. That'll make things easier.
xxJohnxx: Yes, it will. Good meeting you.
Me_Me_Me: Yeah, you too.
[Timestamp: 12:20:50 AM]
[Timestamp: 12:20:55 AM]
Me_Me_Me: Alright, we'll have to talk soon.

I did way too much shaking of hands tonight. That'll be it for awhile. This is the part where I walked away from the two gentlemen and then into my compartment (dorm room). They seemed very nice.

I also posted the following notice in the main living area:

Dorm Rules & Regulations

Hey everyone! Seeing how we’re going to be around each other for quite some time, I took the liberty of typing up some easy-to-follow rules & regulations. Please respect my requests by reading through the rule list at least twice!

- Pa’paw Jesse

1. Clean up after yourselves!
2. All individuals drinking beverages must either hold the beverage 100% of the time OR use a coaster when not drinking the beverage.
3. The locks on the doors may or may not be used at all times.
4. Please release all “Ya-Ya’s” before the “courtesy hours.”
5. Guys – Put the toilet seat down when you finish doing your thing in the bathroom. Girls, same.
6. Use the trash can for emergencies only (if necessary).
7. Please non-recycle all recyclable items in the trash.
8. Don’t let the beta out.
9. No male and female may wander off together.
10. Do not cook pizzas unless you plan to stay awake.
11. There are two pizzas in the freezer in the garage. You may cook them. Make sure you are not wasteful. (Only cook what you need.) Make SURE the freezer is completely closed after you get the pizzas out. You may cook/eat them if necessary.
12. Switching labels is prohibited. ALWAYS.
13. Stay in the dorm at all times. (Exception would be if you had to leave briefly to get something out of you car and that’s it!)
14. Wake me in case of any emergency. This would include injury, illness or anything that concerns you.
15. No horseplay, unless if necessary.
16. There will be no recycling of non recyclables (tissues, apples, toy buses, crusty dishes, etc.)
17. Christmas comes but once a year. Please plan accordingly.
18. What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine. Don’t touch my stuff (unless if possible).
19. No use of fire without a pirate (friend, parent, any will do) present.
20. I AM a vegetarian. Please do not rearrange the meat products in the mini-fridge.
21. The bathroom is for customers only.
22. No shirt, no shoes, no dinner.
23. I only wanna be with Wu.
24. No face placement in ANY popcorn bowl at ANY time.
25. No microwave use while pacemakers are in operation.
26. There will be playing of “Capture the Flag.” We understand you have the right to your freedoms, but this is not a silent matter.
27. Metal detectors will not be used in the fall term. They will be available upon request for the spring.
28. In the spirit of the low-carb, no fat, Akins diet, all bread and vegetables must be checked in before processing.
29. Please, leave the thermostat at a reasonable temperature. 50 – 52 degrees is acceptable.
30. No sleeping. I will keep taps.
31. There are clean towels located sometimes possible.
32. Please do not feed the beta.
33. Be nice ladies and gentlemen.
34. If you have a car, please do NOT park it in the golfer’s carting area. The parking lot is for shopping carts only. Golfing area means no walking area.
35. My motto: For every one futon, comes another insurance policy. NO USE PROHIBITED.
36. Fork statues are not allowed. Ever?
37. Our couch is not to be wet. Yes, ever.
38. Everyone must survive the nights. Late to bed, early to rise.
39. There will be no use of penguins (all exotic animals included) at any time.
40. No laughing in between snacks, meals, etc.
41. Please keep talking to a max/minimum. Napping may occur.
42. No dancing except Salsa. Do not buy dip. I like tosti.
43. There will be no waking of “Pa’paw Jesse” with tales of Stumpy.
44. Do not outline your body in chalk (dead or alive bodies). Also, police line is not to be placed on the door.
45. There will be no “Pin the fork on the beta.” If so, there are two forks located sometimes possible (if necessary).
46. No pretending fruit is a Spanish woman that’s getting her nails filed.
47. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of may. And it better stay that way. LEAVE THE THERMOSTAT ALONE!
48. There will be no reading of any books, except books of the “Great Lakes.” Michigan is our home state, let’s make them proud.
49. Good luck. Good night. I love New York.

They might think I'm insane, but that's how I feel about the whole "dorm situation." I am in control of this place, not the church. This is a family establishment, darn it.

So, it took me a good five hours to get all my stuff in the room and packed away. I'll post some pictures of the room online when I feel that the room looks good enough. Right now, I just have things randomly decorated around about. I have to figure out how to do the whole "poster hanging."

I talked with Rachel and Amanda tonight a few times. That was a good thing. I felt that I wasted a lot of time at Seussical rehearsal tonight. I really didn't need to go. I could have gotten all my stuff packed sooner. Oh well. I'm here, and all is well. And, plus, I got to say goodbye to the wonderful Matthew MacDermid, Alice Winchester, and Jamie Lowe.

Another adventure that I was not going to tell anyone about, (but I decided to anyway) was my fun times trying to eat my late night snack. Since Wal-Mart was sold out of everything but the crappiest of crap, I was forced to purchase...what was it called, again? Let me go check.

"Noodle [stupid picture of a man] Chef presents Delecta Bowl®. Mac & Cheese. Macaroni and Cheese dinner" Directions to make:

1) REMOVE lid and ADD pouch of Cheese Sauce Mix. ADD hot (not boiling) water to FILL line marked on inside of bowl. Stir until well blended.

First of all, I'm extremely impressed that they capitalized the important words like REMOVE and ADD. You see this a lot of mathematical tests where they want you to find the INCREASE or DECREASE. They capitalize these words because they don't want you to make a mistake, and they want to make sure you do the proper function. My only question is, how could you perform the wrong function on a DELECTA bowl? Would you really make the mistake of APPLYING a lid that's already there? How about REMOVING "Cheese Sauce Mix" that's not in the bowl? Besides, didn't you APPLY a lid? You can't REMOVE cheese sauce while the lid is APPLIED.

Oh yeah, and I didn't have anything to stir it with. So, I just shook the bowl around or about fifty seconds or so.

2) MICROWAVE uncovered on HIGH for 3 minutes or until pasta is tender (Cooking time is based on 1000W microwave. Time may vary depending on wattage).

Again, with the whole MICROWAVE thing. Would I throw this plastic bowl on the stove? Anyway, I tried cooking it for a little longer than 3 minutes...so, I put it in for 4 minutes. Come to find out, the 750 microwave that Amanda suggested that I take didn't really do the trick. It took about five minutes. I took out the uncooked cheese sauce disaster, and attempted to...eat...uehhhhehh...

So, I take it out, and here I go -- the moment of truth...I take my trusty spoon...oh, wait. I didn't have a spoon. I didn't have a fork. I didn't have anything. I took a cup and shoveled the Delecta Bowl contents into my mouth, onto the floor, and on my clothes.

The night was good. No thanks to Judy.

Finally, it's time to go to bed. The current time is 4:18 AM. The skies are clear, and I await a beautiful day at the University of Central Florida.

There will be a HUGE photo update sometime very soon.*

*Very soon means whenever I get some free time. Please allow 2 - 3 years for any updates.