The New Room


The last day of February brings much happiness to many of us. Unfortunately, I haven't reached any new conclusions this month (want to see my list of conclusions for January?). Black people will still kill you if given the opportunity, and the Tsunami victims still haven't been seen. However, one thing has happened tonight that is worth mentioning.

The Spitfire Grill pictures are now online.

They're all on this web-site.

Check out the brand new section that just opened five minutes ago: Pictures*. From there, you can view The Spitfire Grill pictures.

Enjoy.

*Note: There is no such thing as a "Pictures" section anymore. These pictures will soon be uploaded to flickr.


 

White Houses: The Original Version


In my spare time, I do some professional recording for such big names studios as Notreal Studios, Makingitup Records, and Noonebelievesyou Platinum Hair Color. My latest triumph of love is entitled, "White Houses," which, unforutantely, newcomer Vanessa Carlton (you may remember her from such hits as 1000 Yards, Touchdown, Ordinary Hair Day) stole my song and released it months before I got a chance to contact my record company and release my version: the original version.

I hope you all enjoy the official release of WHITE HOUSES: The Original Version.

[ Click Here to Listen ]
Lyrics to Vanessa Carlton's "White Houses"

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty-eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and it's no pose
'Cause when she dances she goes and goes
Beer through the nose on an inside joke
I'm so excited, I haven't spoken
And she's so pretty, and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
The summer's all in bloom
The summer is ending soon

It's alright and it's nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

It's alright
And I put myself in his hands
But I hold on to your secrets in white houses
Love, or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades in white houses

My first time, hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day, it's more common than you think
He's my first mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go, and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses
I lie, wrote my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses

And you, maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses


 

The Talent is Only a Shooting Star

When the talent-scout television show Star Search, debuted in 1983, no one questioned the validity of the show’s objective – giving young performers to share their talent with America. Hosted originally by Ed McMahon, this popular show provided the foundation for many celebrities’ careers – such big names as Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Ray Romano, and Dennis Miller. Taking the Star Search formula to a new level, the cultural television phenomenon American Idol has gain popularity over its four-season run. Although the show’s format and outcome have similarities to Star Search, American Idol has many differences – and these differences have raised many questions in the music industry. Most importantly, does American Idol produce legitimate musical artists…or are they simply shooting stars – passing by and leaving nothing behind?

In recent years, many similar talent shows have become popular. Fame, Nashville Star, and Project Runway are just a few of them. Star Search itself came back around for a second shot in 2003. However, only one show has been as popular as Star Search was when it debuted, and that is American Idol. During season four’s first week, Idol aired to an audience of nearly 66 million viewers. Season one winner Kelly Clarkson went on to sell just under 300,000 copies of her debut album “Thankful,” in the first week. Not only did her CD rank her at number one, but it also outsold the reunion album from the 1980s superstars Fleetwood Mac.

Despite these astounding statistics, the popular television show receives a large amount of criticism. The show is exciting and entertaining for some; however, others believe that the show’s controversy lies in its credibility. Questioning the validity of the show, many say that while American Idol weeds out thousands of contestants, the results are less than worthwhile. Another popular claim is that the show is merely “reality TV,” while “real” musical artists have to work for their fame.

Recently, a survey was conducted between 76 people of all types of gender, race, age, and education. Over 90% of the respondents said that they had seen the television show American Idol, and only 12% said they did not enjoy the show. Clay Aiken and Kelly Clarkson came in a dead tie as America’s favorite idols, with 42% of the votes each. Coming in next was Ruben Studdard, with a mere 8%. While 72% of all people surveyed believed that contestants from the show are successful musical artists, only 47% said that the contestants were talented – almost split down the middle.

“I am a huge fan of [American Idol],” says fifty-six year old Merica Merck. “I root for my favorites and hope they win, but at the end of the day it’s really just a bunch of teenagers competing to be entertainers…not necessarily musical artists.” Eighteen-year-old Kyle Farris has a similar view. “I think the artists that are made from the show have an effect on the musical industry, but only in a minimalistic way. The artists from the show only make a very small portion of the very big name superstars." Still, some fans are in between. "[The show] picks contestants that have real musical ability," says eighteen-year-old Amanda Westerhouse. "But just because they win doesn't mean that they'll automatically make it in the music business."

There are some, however, who view Idol as more than simply a “glorified talent show,” i.e., they believe that it is an intense competition with incredibly talented musical artists trying to make their potential careers shine. “I see American Idol indirectly helping the musical industry,” says seventeen-year-old David Pandich, “because it demonstrates to the average citizen that the path [to stardom], though difficult, is not insurmountable, and because of this, I believe that more potential stars will feel comfortable making the leap of faith to stardom.” Nineteen-year-old Tyler Teachworth agrees with David, saying, “[It’s] one of the single most entertaining television programs being broadcast today. Whether you're watching Simon slam potential contestants or feeling your heart melt as you listen to some of the most beautiful voices of this day and age, it's fantastic."

Regardless of what people think of the show’s contributions to the music industry, one thing is certain – the show itself is successful. American Idol owes that success to Simon Fuller (not to be confused with judge Simon Cowell) who also created the original United Kingdom counterpart Pop Idol. Pop Idol followed a very similar formula to the first season of American Idol. At the beginning of each season, the episodes focus on individual U.S. cities while thousands of potentials audition. Each contestant goes through preliminary judging rounds before they advance to the star judges: Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell, and Paula Abdul. In the initial weeks, contestants face the judges individually and in groups, singing their hearts out – the judges advance the best contestants. Those who do not advance receive the sharpest and most poignant criticism from the three judges – Simon is notorious for crushing people’s dreams. However, unlike Star Search and similar clones, the audience ultimately decides who wins via phone-based voting.

What does it all mean? Simply put, people agree that American Idol contestants are successful, but many believe that they are not talented. This would indicate a trend towards the belief that the show is merely an overly publicized and highly dramatic talent show without merit. Perhaps this FOX prime time show is more than a popular culture trend. Until further investigation, we won’t know just how good the current Idol’s are, and, more importantly, if they are here to stay. Unfortunately, perhaps David Pandich has it pinned: “I believe that American Idol contributes to the industry,” David says, “but not necessarily by allowing singers to take a shortcut to the top. Regardless of the talent of the Clay Aikens, the Kelly Clarksons, the Ruben Studdards, I don't believe that anyone will ever be able to see these stars as anything other than the product of the show, and they will therefore always be dismissed, if even on a small level, as a novelty act.”


 

Our Notebook



Well, here's what I sent Rachel the other day. For those of you who were interested, Pennington was found as well as the package -- all's well in Richmond, Virginia.

I hope you all enjoy this special DVD insert that I sent Rachel!

Click on the image for a larger view.

Feel free to throw up.

Labels:


 

Pennington



I sent something on Tuesday to my girlfriend Rachel and she was supposed to receive it today. I shipped it with UPS.

I'm on hold right now with UPS because, apparently, someone named "Pennington" signed for the package. Reminds me of a time when Jill Vanderoef sent a cheesecake to Alex Walsh and "B. Hinds" signed for it. As you can probably imagine, I'm not happy.

So, UPS has started their investigation. Now, I have to go to the original UPS store and talk to them about the shipment. I have to find out who Pennington is, and if he's a real boy.

This is a major inconvenience to me and America's future. I mean, how can the Universal Postal Stealers (UPS) do this to people? Who is this mastermind Pennington? I had to find the answers. I had a criminal artist do a sketch:



However, some smart people believe that Pennington may have aged a bit since he was last seen (Pennington's ability to age has yet to be confirmed with local police). If this is true, this is an updated sketch of what he might look like today:



If you or anyone you know has any information, please call or write:


 

Spitfire Grill Headshots


Matthew MacDermid is putting on a production of "The Spitfire Grill." Since I used to own a spitfire grill when I was a child, I was asked to take all the headshots.

I sincerely hope that everyone likes their headshot. I know that most of the time people just hate pictures of themselves. I spent some time in Photoshop trying to fix these headshots with contrast and lighting techniques the best I could...so, here goes nothing:

Click here for flickr set.

Note: Flickr set of the headshots are not available quite yet. They'll be up as soon as possible.


 

Conclusions

During the month of January, I came to the following conclusions:
  1. The Tsunami Victim's don't exist. Have you ever met one? Didn't think so.
  2. Asian people in their 20-30s always wear khaki pants and off-white windbreakers.
  3. High School is a waste of time. Half of the things you learn in high school are covered in college. Just get rid of it. And lose that weight, baby!
  4. People with long hair are always women. Don't be fooled by Chad Kroger. He likes your pants around your feet.
  5. Opera singers are fat and ugly. Jared ruined his chances long ago.
  6. Michael Jackson. Need I touch more?
  7. No word in the English language rhymes perfectly with "Orange." Don't look it up. Don't think about it. It isn't possible.
  8. Val Kilmer is dead.
  9. People who use the word, "DUDE," and aardvarks have similar intelligence. "Dude, aheh, let's eat some ants."
  10. Indian people are nice and sometimes they speak "okay" English. They never make sense.
  11. People who work on school newspapers like to remind you of that at totally inappropriate times. "I love McDonalds." "Oh yeah? I wrote an article on McDonalds one time in high school because I was on the school paper."
  12. Black people, given the chance, will kill you.
  13. iMac should make the iRaq, a new digital media player that broadcasts President Bush talking twenty-four hours a day. They will sell it for $1 and people will buy it.
  14. Many people are stupid enough to have tried to look for a word that rhymes with Orange. They are stupid people.
  15. Women go bald in a different way than men. Men lose hair from the top of their head as they age. Women's hair gets shorter. They claim it to be a fashion statement. They are lying.
  16. Movies with Kevin Costner are not good.
  17. Old people die sooner or later. Turn the air conditioner off to speed up the process.
  18. Many people believe that Elvis never died. I don't see people saying that about Chrisopher Reeve. I think they both died.
  19. The word "emo" isn't real. In fact, if you search for the term in an acronym finder, the word stands for "Engage Missile Order." Next time someone tells me that they're "emo," I will assume tornado position.
  20. It's a good thing that some people think "emo" means "emotional," and that it stands for a certain genre of music. Now when artists write, they can be emotional in their music, opposed to artists who used to write songs and no be...oh, wait...what?
  21. Condoleeza Rice is black.
  22. Borange, corange, and lorange are not words. They never will be.
  23. The Catholic Pope was admitted to the hospital awhile ago because of an illnees. God doesn't love him anymore.
  24. It would be fun to shoot someone. But not for real.


 

CGI_Friends

I decided to generate the faces of many people I know. Sorry if anyone is offended. I thought they were hilarious. The following digital creations are in no particular order.

Jesse Chapman

Rachel Kindergan

Judy Vanderoef

Amanda Westerhouse

Kim Blythe

Kristen Vanderoef

Bianca Webb

Kenny DiFiore

Jamie Lowe

Kyle Farris

Alex Walsh

Jill Vanderoef

Katie McDuff

Tyler Teachworth

Billy Meyer

Niki Tilton

Noah Marks

Laura Negron

Cory VanDeventer

Leanne Nace

Joey Kindergan

Paisley Majewski

Patrice Majewski

David Pandich

Steve MacKinnon

Matthew MacDermid