You don't get scared? How about I jump out of the closet and stab you?

I just finished watching What Lies Beneath for the who knows what time. I love it.

I thought that acting like a real man went out with the 90s. Nowadays, it's romantic when a man cries. It's romantic when he squeezes his girlfriend's hand during the scary parts.

WRONG.

Apparently it's still fashionable for real men to scoff and shake their head in shame while watching a scary film.

I've got an idea. Perhaps you shouldn't watch scary movies if they don't scare you. Perhaps you should go lift weights and have sex with a few high school cheerleaders. And hurry up before you grow old and you can't have sex anymore.

Oh wait, real men don't age. I forgot about that, too.

Where the hell are all my black friends? I know that Sheri "GET YO ASS OUT OF THE HOUSE, BITCH, RUN!" Bradford wouldn't let me down.

24: The Unaired 1994 Pilot

This is a great video from the guys at CollegeHumor that pokes fun at the television show 24. I don't think you need to be a hard core fan of 24 to really get the joke. It sets 24 in the year 1994 and plays it seriously. Hilarity ensues.

Best Buy Moment #1

I spoke with Mary on the phone tonight.

Yes. Yes. I've got a question. I just bought a printer...the J5780...? Well, the printer cartilage is not working. And the cartilages came with the printer.

car·ti·lage n. a tough, elastic, fibrous connective tissue found in various parts of the body, such as the joints, outer ear, and larynx.

Top Eight (Parody of "Far Away" by Nickelback)

I was bored. So I decided to record a video to accompany a song that I wrote. It's to the tune of Nickelback's "Far Away." And it's about MySpace stalking. Sounds like fun to me.