Top 5 ways to kill yourself

June 23, 2008

2 Comments

Nowadays, killing oneself is easier than ever. We can all thank technology for that. After extensive research, however, some of the most sure-fire ways to self-terminate are some of the oldest methods available. "Tried and true," if you will. Here are my top 5 ways to kill yourself:
  1. Gun shot
  2. Drug/alcohol overdose
  3. Hanging
  4. Carbon monoxide inhalation
  5. The Country Sausage Biscuit Platter (available only at Perkins):
Terrorism for Dummies

While the Country Sausage Biscuit Platter is number 5 on the list, it's surely one of the quickest methods available today*.

If you know of any other killer meals, feel free to share them here so we can help each other understand the dangers that lurk in Perkins. Or any other restaurant. But mostly Perkins.

*WARNING: SIMPLY READING THE DESCRIPTION OF THE COUNTRY SAUSAGE BISCUIT PLATTER COULD LEAD TO SEVERE CHOLESTEROL INCREASE. AND HEART ATTACKS, I'M SURE.

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2 Comments:

Blogger David said...

A search for the "worst food ever" turned up the following:

The HungryMan All Day Breakfast microwave meal has 1030 calories PER box, with 64 grams of fat. 2,090 milligrams of sodium, and enough cholesterol to kill anything that's ever lived.

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0744/

6:06 PM
 

Blogger Alison said...

according to the book eat this, not that the worst food in america is outback's aussie cheese fries. they contain 2,900 calories, 182g of fat, and 240g of carbs. i'm pretty sure people drop dead after eating those.

8:33 PM
 

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