Writer's Strike Chart: How Long Before Your Shows Go Dark?

There's a writer's strike going on. So, that means that television will die soon. Here is a handy chart provided by TVGuide.com that explains how many episodes are left from most of the shows on TV right now.

30 Rock: Ten episodes will be produced. Five episodes have aired, so there are five left.

Aliens in America: Seventeen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are 10 left.

Back to You: Nine episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are three left.

The Big Bang Theory: Eight episodes were produced. Eight episodes have aired, so there are zero left.

Bionic Woman: Roughly nine episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are three left.

Bones: Twelve episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are five left.

Boston Legal: Fifteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are eight left.

Brothers & Sisters: Twelve episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are five left.

Carpoolers: Thirteen episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are seven left.

Cavemen: Thirteen episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are seven left.

Chuck: Thirteen episodes will be produced. Eight episodes have aired, so there are five left.

CSI: NY: Fourteen episodes will be produced. Eight episodes have aired, so there are six left.

Desperate Housewives: Ten episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are three left.

Dirty Sexy Money: Eleven episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are five left.

Friday Night Lights: Fifteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are eight left.

Gossip Girl: Thirteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are six left.

Greek: Eight new episodes will be produced. None have aired yet, so there are eight left.

Grey's Anatomy: Eleven episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are four left.

Heroes: Eleven episodes will be produced. Eight episodes have aired, so there are three left.

House: Twelve episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are five left.

Jericho: Seven episodes will be produced. None have aired yet, so there are seven episodes left.

Las Vegas: Nineteen episodes will be produced. Eight have aired, so there are 11 left.

Law & Order: SVU: Fourteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are seven left.

Life is Wild: Twelve episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are six left.

Lost: Eight episodes will be produced. None have aired yet, so there are eight episodes left.

Medium: Nine episodes will be produced. None have aired yet, so there are nine episodes left.

Men in Trees: Nineteen episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are 13 left.

My Name is Earl: Thirteen episodes will be produced (that includes two one-hour eps, which count double). Nine episodes have aired, so there are four left.

The New Adventures of Old Christine: Eight episodes have been produced. No episodes have aired, so there are eight left.

Numbers: Twelve episodes will be produced. Eight have aired, so there are four left.

One Tree Hill: Twelve episodes will be produced. None have aired yet, so there are twelve episodes left.

The Office: Twelve half-hour episodes will be produced. Eleven half-hour episodes have aired, so there is one half-hour episode left.

Prison Break: Thirteen episodes will be produced. Eight episodes have aired, so there are five left. (On hiatus 'til Jan. 14)

Private Practice: Ten or 11 episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are four or five left.

Pushing Daisies: Nine episodes will be produced. Five episodes have aired, so there are four left.

Reaper: Ten to 12 episodes will be produced. Eight episodes have aired, so there are two to four left.

Samantha Who?: Twelve episodes will be produced. Five episodes have aired, so there are seven left.

Scrubs: Eleven episodes will be produced. Three episodes have aired, so there are eight left.

Shark: Eleven episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are four left.

The Shield: All 13 season-seven episodes will be completed. None have aired (the final season gets underway in '08), so there are 13 left.

Smallville: Fifteen episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are eight left.

Supernatural: Ten to 12 episodes will be produced. Six episodes have aired, so there are four to six left.

Ugly Betty: Twelve or 13 episodes will be produced. Seven episodes have aired, so there are five or six left.

Donate rice to end world hunger

What if you could match definitions to words and for every one you get correct an organization would donate 10 grains of rice to the United Nations in order to end world hunger? If those aren't you exact thoughts then I don't know what are!

http://www.freerice.com/

It's pretty simple. Get a word right and they increase the difficulty level. Get a word wrong and they decrease the level. For every correct answer you get they donate rice. It's fun, simple, and very addictive. I've already donated 330 grains of rice in the past ten minutes.

And I'm at work, too, which makes my time much better spent. Instead of just saying, "...answer the phone..." when people ask me what I did at work, now I can say that I helped stop world hunger.

Ghandi would be proud.

Auditorium's artistic director ends run with 'Children of Eden'

By KENYA WOODARD
Staff Writer

PALM COAST -- Since 1989, Mary Beale has overseen every theatrical production performed by Flagler Palm Coast High School's FPC Players.

At a recent rehearsal for the group's latest production, the musical "Children of Eden," it's clear that Beale is passionate about her job.

She effortlessly moves from one task to the next, from giving directions and adjusting costumes to critiquing the choreography and reviewing the score with musical director and longtime collaborator Alana Fitzgerald.

For Beale, however, the moments leading up to the play's opening Thursday night are bittersweet.

After "Children of Eden," Beale will step down as FPC Player's artistic director and pass the responsibility on to Flagler Palm Coast drama teacher Tom Whatley.

Beale said much consideration went into her decision and she leaves the position with mixed emotions. But the timing is right, she said.

"When you get to a point when you can do it with your eyes shut, it's time to switch to something you can't do as readily," she said.

Beale said she's ending her tenure on a high note. "Children of Eden," a Stephen Schwatz musical loosely based on the biblical stories of Adam, Eve and Noah, is a fun production to direct, she said.

As a bonus, Beale is directing senior students and principal players, Justin Register and Kyle Carlson, in what is one of their best performances, she said.

And snagging Flagler Superintendent Bill Delbrugge to conduct the orchestra through the play's 43 songs has been rewarding, she said.

Delbrugge, a former band teacher and jazz enthusiast, said the experience has been "exhilarating."

"It is incredible and this group is very talented," he said. "It's a big honor."

Beale said the school's theatrical performances have come a long way since she directed her first production, "Adrift in New York." She counts "Fiddler On the Roof" among one of her favorites.

Beale said she's most proud of helping those initially shy and reserved students blossom into fine actors.

"I get great satisfaction from the individual achievement of individual kids," she said.
Beale's students and colleagues have high praise for her.

"Working with Ms. Beale has always been fun to do," said Kyle, who plays Adam and Noah. "She's probably one of the best directors."

Justin, who plays Father (God), said he was initially hesitant to take on the role because it involves singing. It was Beale who encouraged him to do it in a style that was comfortable for him, Justin said.

"She leaves character development to us," he said.

Fitzgerald said Beale's foresight and dedication brings life to a production.

"This lady can envision things I could never see," she said. "She sees things long before it comes to the stage."

Beale, who started teaching at Flagler Palm Coast in 1987, will continue teaching junior-level honors English literature at the school.

Beale said she's looking forward to retirement in a few years but will remain involved with school theater.

"This has always been my calling," she said.

New Pictures: Desktop Wallpaper

I created a promotional desktop wallpaper for Shannon Bennet's short film, "Edgar's Last Donut." See below!



That's the full size scaled down. If you have a widescreen monitor, you can right click on that baby and save it as your wallpaper. Otherwise, head over to the Pictures section for a full screen version:

Click here to access desktop wallpapers.

New Writing

It's called, "Next in Line" and you can read it by clicking here:



On that picture. Not actually on the word "here," which is somewhat misleading.

So there. Not here.

Next in Line

If you've ever been to a Best Buy, you'll know that the employees are trained to stalk you. "No thanks, I'm just looking," doesn't translate in Bestbuian.

Greetings. I’m writing this from my job place of choice: BEST buy. I type it with capital letters because that’s how I like to say it. Some people say best BUY. I typically don't talk to those people.

I just referred a friend to work at Best Buy a week or so ago and they got the job. That means that I get money, which I’m sure my friend will extort in the form of a free meal. I’ve heard it all before – “...if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have gotten the money hahahanowwhere'smyfood?” Typical.

Working at Best Buy isn’t so bad, though. I used to be a Customer Service Specialist. Returns and Exchanges were my name and doing them was my game (literally Jesse "Returns and Exchanges" Chapman). Getting yelled at was another game I played frequently. But I usually understand why people are yelling. They’re angry.

And even though they're angry, I do my best to understand where they’re coming from. That’s what made me a good Customer Service Specialist. I specialized in customer service, which means that if someone wanted to argue, I’d argue them to death with the tools of logic and intelligence. But one thing I wouldn't do is turn into a robot -- much like the general manager of my apartment complex does.

She's a moron and a robot. My air conditioner has been broken for the past, oh, say...since I’ve moved in a year ago. I've generated an image for everyone to follow along:

1. Air conditioner doesn’t work.
2. I call in a work order.
3. Guy comes out. "Fixes it."
4. Anywhere from two weeks to two months later, it breaks again.

That’s the cycle. It’s great. And by great I mean I want to kill myself every time I have to call the main office again and complain. Cue the general manager to “facilitate” the issue.

Here's the logic that I try to explain: Broken air conditioners do a similar thing that working air conditioners do -- blow air out into a room until it reaches a preset temperature. The difference is that a broken unit will never reach that preset temperature because the air isn't cool. That means that it just keeps blowing air -- all day long -- until it's fixed.

That means that my utility bill is very high. Higher than it has ever been. But for some reason she doesn't see a correlation between very high bills and broken appliances. In fact, in our most recent phone call she explained some important points to me that I will now share with you (spread the word, as they say) as well as my thoughts during the phone call.

1) 73 degrees is a very low temperature that will raise your utility bill.

My Thoughts: Your face emits a very low temperature that oddly enough raises my utility bill. I’m saying that you’re ugly and that you look like a cookie-cutter blond who has obviously succeeded in sleeping your way into a general manager position. God knows that you didn’t do it by having a personality and treating people with respect. I KNOW that 73 will raise my bill. But you know what’s odd? My apartment isn’t even REACHING 73! So...I’m wondering what the hell your tip of the day has anything to do with my situation.

2) I find that 76 is a reasonable temperature to keep my thermostat at.

My Thoughts: While we’re sharing things that completely don’t relate to my problem, I find that my penis shrinks to a reasonable size in the shower – perfect for traveling long distances! What the hell do I care about your thermostat? Are you a vegan? If so, I may want to reconsider the types of food I eat! Oh wait...wait...wait........

3) I understand what you’re saying, but there’s really nothing we can do in terms of lowering your utility bill. There’s nothing really to indicate that the air conditioner is the cause of this issue.

My Thoughts: Okay, so my bill fluctuates between a reasonable $4 - $25 during the course of my stay. Now, when I’m having huge issues it shoots up to $38. I guess you’re right. There really just isn’t any correlation at all. Give me a call the next time someone slaps you in the face and you suddenly wonder why your face hurts.

4) Have you tried turning off lights?

My Thoughts: Have you tried thinking? I know you’re a robot and/or alien trying desperately to understand how human interaction works, but seriously – you MUST know how listening works. I mean, that’s the fundamental step in communication. It’s really a lot more important than speaking, despite what some people might say.

5) Do you have mini-fridges?

My Thoughts: Your honor, I object and move to mistrial on account of WHAT THE HELL in the first degree.

6) A lot of the other tenants have bills this high. Your bill is in the normal range.

My Thoughts: Okay, so I think you’re missing the point. I don’t have mini-fridges. I turn my lights off. I challenge you to find another apartment that has no fridges and takes the same steps that my roommates and I take that has the same bill. I guarantee that those “similar bills” have eighteen fridges a piece and run nightly carnivals.

This is the same general manager that when I told her my couch was broken she told me I should have reported it on my move-in form. When a maintenance man came to check the couch he found that the wood frame in the couch was broken. He found that out by cutting the bottom of the couch open.

"So, you're telling me that I should have cut the bottom of my couch open?"

"I would have done whatever it took to make sure I accurately represented my apartment on my move-in form. We take these forms very seriously."

Yes, she actually said that. So, now I'm waiting to hear back from the regional manager. Maybe he's a human!

A picture that someone took of me while I was hard at work.

Where was I...? Oh yeah. best BUY. I’m no longer working in customer service. I’m now working as a phone operator. I answer the phone and take customer issues and calls. My goal is to never transfer a call to a department. In fact, today is my first day as a phone operator.

They store the phone operators behind the wall of customer service. Why do I still have to wear the blue shirt and khaki pants? Because it makes me feel like part of the store family. That’s why.

I’m sitting here doing a lot of nothing (clearly – writing this as employees are walking by and laughing at my prose), but that doesn’t mean that it’s not completely exciting (in case my managers are reading this, I actually find this job to be the BEST job)!

I worked on Halloween. I was hoping that children would come tricker-treating at Best Buy so I could take pennies out of the cash drawers and hand them out.

Remember when old people would give out pennies? What the hell? I never thought to myself, “Stupid old people” though. I always just thought that they were confused or something. Like they went to reach for the candy but they missed and cashed in their live savings instead.

RRRING RRRING! I just had a customer call in and ask me a question. Then, after that, someone else called in and asked if I could hold an item for them.

I said, “yes.”

I can hold an item for them. I can do lots of things that I couldn’t do before. Like walk around an area of more than eighteen and a half feet. I have a ridiculous Bluetooth headset that I wear now which remotely lifts a receiver off a regular phone to connect my calls. I’m serious. The headset actually comes with a device that resembles a robot arm that actually raises the receiver of a normal phone off the base to connect my call.

A real image of an Apple Store.

I’m living in the future.

But the real future is the Apple Store at the Mall at Millennia. I just went there the other day to purchase an external hard drive. You walk inside and feel like the oxygen is easier to breathe. The open space allows you to move freely around the store even when it’s packed to the brim. The employees speak to you articulately as if they’re supercomputer robots capable of searching their cores for the answers to any of your questions.

That’s exactly why Microsoft doesn’t have its own store. Can you image what it would be like?

How I envision the Microsoft Store.

You’d walk into the front doors and immediately feel as if you stepped off a plane into the Arizona desert. As you panted heavily trying to find your products down the narrow isles, bumping into homeless people along the way, you’d contract AIDS. The employees wouldn’t exist; instead, an automated phone system that connects you to a beautiful female voice would repeat, “I’m sorry. I didn’t understand you. Just tell me what category of product you’re looking for.” Upon the third time she “didn’t understand you,” she’d say, “I’m sorry I can’t help you. Try your call again later.” When you finally found your products, the cashier wouldn’t be able to complete the transaction due to an error message on the computer. The “I-haven’t-taken-a-shower-in-five-or-so-days-because-I’m-a-hacker” employee would call a manager over the intercom, “Blue screen reboot to lane four, please. Blue screen reboot…to lane four.” Then, as you left the store you’d freeze in place. The only option you’d have at that point would be to Ctrl+Alt+Delete your shopping experience, which wouldn’t be savory since you’d have to do it all over again.

Wow. Cancer and AIDS in one essay. I’m just two abortions and a gay marriage away from being controversial.

The Matthew MacDermid Story (Preview #1)

This is a preview of a documentary project I'm working on for my class. Enjoy.

le french du teste

I know you were all worried about me taking my French test last week. I'll have you know that I scored a 90% on it. Yeah, that's right. I skipped all the classes that covered the material on the test because I had to shoot my Directing II film, "p.s.". So, I'm very excited that I got such a good grade. I totally didn't deserve it.

Good news: I have a writing that's going up soon. Probably tonight? I wrote it last night, but I didn't get a chance to post. So, I'll do my best to get it up ASAP.