Conclusions

During the month of January, I came to the following conclusions:

1. The Tsunami Victim's don't exist. Have you ever met one? Didn't think so.
2. Asian people in their 20-30s always wear khaki pants and off-white windbreakers.
3. High School is a waste of time. Half of the things you learn in high school are covered in college. Just get rid of it. And lose that weight, baby!
4. People with long hair are always women. Don't be fooled by Chad Kroger. He likes your pants around your feet.
5. Opera singers are fat and ugly. Jared ruined his chances long ago.
6. Michael Jackson. Need I touch more?
7. No word in the English language rhymes perfectly with "Orange." Don't look it up. Don't think about it. It isn't possible.
8. Val Kilmer is dead.
9. People who use the word, "DUDE," and aardvarks have similar intelligence. "Dude, aheh, let's eat some ants."
10. Indian people are nice and sometimes they speak "okay" English. They never make sense.
11. People who work on school newspapers like to remind you of that at totally inappropriate times. "I love McDonalds." "Oh yeah? I wrote an article on McDonalds one time in high school because I was on the school paper."
12. Black people, given the chance, will kill you.
13. iMac should make the iRaq, a new digital media player that broadcasts President Bush talking twenty-four hours a day. They will sell it for $1 and people will buy it.
14. Many people are stupid enough to have tried to look for a word that rhymes with Orange. They are stupid people.
15. Women go bald in a different way than men. Men lose hair from the top of their head as they age. Women's hair gets shorter. They claim it to be a fashion statement. They are lying.
16. Movies with Kevin Costner are not good.
17. Old people die sooner or later. Turn the air conditioner off to speed up the process.
18. Many people believe that Elvis never died. I don't see people saying that about Chrisopher Reeve. I think they both died.
19. The word "emo" isn't real. In fact, if you search for the term in an acronym finder, the word stands for "Engage Missile Order." Next time someone tells me that they're "emo," I will assume tornado position.
20. It's a good thing that some people think "emo" means "emotional," and that it stands for a certain genre of music. Now when artists write, they can be emotional in their music, opposed to artists who used to write songs and no be...oh, wait...what?
21. Condoleeza Rice is black.
22. Borange, corange, and lorange are not words. They never will be.
23. The Catholic Pope was admitted to the hospital awhile ago because of an illnees. God doesn't love him anymore.
24. It would be fun to shoot someone. But not for real.