The EVIL

Not to say that I don't miss my friends and family, but these past few hours of awayness have been just what I've needed.

Awake.

I got up today at 1:30 PM. You know what that means, kids. That's right, the alarm was set for the reasonable 11:00 AM and the snooze went off multiple times. Speaking of my alarm clock, I think now is a good time to explain about the new miracle device. This amazing clock will automatically set the time, date, and year just by plugging it in. Also, it memorizes the alarms for roughly thirty seconds after being unplugged -- incase you need to move the clock to a different outlet or such. I'm going to have to force myself to get back into some normal sleeping patterns soon. Classes do indeed start monday. But, who needs classes? I can see just fine.

It's hard to go to the bathroom when you don't have access to the room in question. The nextdoorers were in the bathroom all morning. Oh boy, did I have to go to the bathroom! I mean, you could always go in the sink, but who'd do such a crazy thing?

I tend to get pretty weird around people I don't know. For example, there are those morning hours when I love to appear inhuman and automatically ready. I snuck into the shower today. Literally. I waited for the people in the room next to ours (you know who I'm talking about -- John and Braids in Hair. I will henceforth refer to as the EVIL) to become distracted, and then I made my move. The EVIL didn't have a chance to see me. I was like the lightning in the sea -- quick, however soft.

It didn't take long for them to realize that I was in the shower, though. Fortunately for me, I made the quick retreat back into my room before they could catch me. I locked the door and waited until I needed to leave (which I try to avoid at all costs). So, I did what any sensible guy would do behind locked doors when they have a lot of free time on their HANDS and plenty of alone time. I took me a good twenty minutes, but I think that it was satisfying.

I styled my hair.

I also tried to call my new UCF phone number a few times. It wasn't until the second try that I realized I was calling the EVIL next door. Apparently, the numbers that housing gave me were the switcharoo numbers. 44 instead of 43. Silly phone service. All is well in the Denmark phone service, however. Speaking of phones, I forgot my cell phone charger at home. Someone needs to kick me a few times.

May it be the winds, the Gods, or the forces of nature -- whatever caused it, I'm not sure. But, as sure as laundry, the EVIL knocked on my door around 3:15 PM. I looked through the peephole in the door, but the faces I saw were what any person would normally see while watching COPS (i.e., the peepholes are useless).

I open the door to find, not the EVIL, but the man himself -- Kurtis Vandestreek. Ah yes, Vandestreek. Not "steen" as I had thought yesterday. He's not an ugly man, to be quite honest, thank goodness. I mean, can you ever really take ugly people seriously? I can't. I will have a picture of him online as soon as we've gotten past that weird stage where I can't really do any normal activities with him. You know what I mean. If I were to ask him for a picture now, he'd freak out and probably move in with the EVIL (humm, not such a bad idea...?).

Kurt_Douglas53: Hey.
Me_Me_Me: Hello.

Alright, so it wasn't stimulating conversation, but it wasn't bad. I don't think we'd be friends if we had went to the same high school and knew each other, but I don't think we would have been enemies. I get the Mark Russell or Alex Morse, but a little nicer feeling from him at this point. I could be wrong, but I am rarely wrong about my people sense. He basically walked around and moved all his stuff inside the room. Come to find out, Kurtis and the EVIL all knew each other from high school. So, the three of them are friends, and I'm out to lunch. Well, I don't think that'll be so bad. Maybe he'll hang around with them all the time. Just as I was about to go to the store for some consumables, I heard a very interesting conversation transpire in the hallway.

xxJohnxx: Yeah, so what are you up to?
Kurt_Douglas53: Yeah, I'm gonna go back home tonight.
xxJohnxx: Really?
Braids_in_Hair25: Oh, do you have plans with...
Kurt_Douglas53: Yeah, yeah...
Braids_in_Hair25: Cool.
xxJohnxx: Cool.

He was gone by 6:00 PM. And I think you know why, ladies. He had plans with....well, you know. Speaking of 6:00 PM, there was some sort of "get-together" today in the pouring rain that I was supposed to attend. It was being held outside, again, in the pouring rain. I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain, but I sure do mind spending it with a bunch of college movie characters.

Speaking of which -- that reminds me. I was thinking today that college seems like a movie. You know when you watch college movies...you get those college looking people, with those college jokes, and those college clothes, and...it's just some weird style thing. I can't explain it. It's the voices, the attitudes, the dress. Yes, well, this seems like one huge movie. Notice how there is also always an Asian friend? Do they really exist? I'm thinking no. Can't we all just wear normal clothes, hang around, and talk? Do we have to go visit bars, and go clubbing and get drunk?

Welcome to the real world, I guess.

Did I mention that I miss everyone? I do.

Well, after Kurtis left I found myself looking for things to do. So, I ventured to the local TAR-JEY, as idiots would refer to it (TARGET). Only one problem -- it was raining. Was the umbrella in my dorm room where I could easily access it? Of course not. That'd wouldn't make for a good story. The umbrella was in the FO-KOOSE, my lovely car, aways away in the parking garage. Ah, the things we do for the people we love. I put a plastic bag over my face, peeled away eye holes, and ran for cover. I pulled a few James Bond jumps over puddles, and ultimately one huge leap over the wall of the parking garage. Alright, so got some things, spent about $60, did good. Got a lot of random food products. Mayonnaise!

I came home, put everything away, and that was that. I worked on the highly anticipated, "IF YOU'RE NOT THE ONE (2K DUET MIX)" video. I will release to the public this information only:

The title of the project as of now is:

"two know"

Here we see veteran actress Jillasthon Vanderoef (top) and musical theater genius James "Woods" Lowe III (belowe) involved in the LIFE ALERT heart attack commercials. Notice how realistic their heart attack faces are.

"The pain, the pleasure, the love." - Life Alert Spokesperson

This title could, but probably won't, change. Anyway, I'm making some real progress on that video. It'll hopefully be done for Labor Day weekend, so I can most likely bring it home and show the kids. This is the single most extensive video project I've ever worked on before. Ironically enough, the second place winner is my Mrs. Kuiper video project. Not that it needed to be that crazy, but it certainly was. The Lynching comes in a close third, and Die Another Day comes fourth, in case anyone was wondering my video difficulty history.

I got really tired of working with that video after while, so I called a few people. It was good to talk to some familiar sounding dolphins. Speaking of dolphins, after I got off the phone, I switched mine sets and went to the movies -- alone.

But it wasn't bad. I had a good time. I saw the movie, "Open Water." You can find a concise review over on the Reel Review page. Hope you all enjoy that.

Of course, after Open Water, I felt the need to go to Wal-Mart. I had to get some Allergy Eye drops, and I wanted to see if they carried the "EXTRACTOR" at this Wal-Mart (if you know what that is, good for you, if you don't, just think SCARY). Of course, I had to have something crazy happen to me at Wal-Mart. So, I walk over to this nice man to ask him if he knew where the sporting goods center was.

Me_Me_Me: Hello.
CantHearYou21: [points to his ear] YEEEEAAAHEEEEYYAAAHEE AHHHHH EEAAAHHHH!

Yeah, the poor man was deaf, so he decides to make me very aware of that by screaming some crazy call to the wild at me. A simple point would have been just fine.

Oh, and I found the sporting goods center fine, theenks.

Not much else happened after that. I went back to the old dormaroozie, worked on the video some more, and eventually started writing this wonderful narrative. Hope you all enjoyed it. I'm not sure how many more of these I'll be able to write in a row, but hopefully I'll do my best. I'm almost positive they'll become shorter over the coming weeks, but rest assured -- these are fun for me to write, and I know some people have fun reading them. Judy said she almost wet herself!

Yes, I did just publicly announce that. But, Judy also publicly announces it every time she's like, "Guys, I just crapped my pants, and I have to go to the bathroom to wash my pants." Ahh, Judy.