My first day at college

Note: The early blog posts of "College is a Movie" were posted on a different site -- judyhoof.com. As you can see, they have since been moved to their own site. Some of the references may be old or outdated, but are retained for nostalgia. Okay, maybe not nastalgia. Maybe I don't feel like going through and editing all that stuff out. Deal with it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am taking over. This is your favorite webmaster, Jesse Chapman, reporting LiVE from the University of Central Florida. Since I do not have a LiVEJOURNAL, and I will not be obtaining one for any real purpose anytime soon, I will be writing in Judy's online journal here. You will be able to find updates about my life at college, basically. If I feel like it enough, I may create an entire new section, instead of just using Judy's journal here (not like she uses it, or anything). = )

For those of you who were concerned with the small man underneath my car that was making crazy sounds as he was being drug across the freeway, rest assured that he is safe and freed. The car is fine, and funny enough -- there was a nail in the tire that was making the crazy sounds. Everything is in running order.

I don't think I've sweated this much in a long time. Rule #1, always have someone move your stuff into your dorm/apartment with you. For those of you who don't know, I am sharing a dorm with someone who seems to be very nice. I haven't met him yet, but his name is Kurtis Vandesteen (I believe that's the correct last name spelling). Regardless, I think it's funny that he has "VANDE" in his name! Gives me a taste of life back in Palm Coast. Ah, the good old days.

Anyway, back to the sweat and rules. I had to bring everything up the stairs by myself. Cases of books, lamps, hampers, lights, bulbs, light bulbs, refrigerators, washers, dryers, chairs, desks, beds, and windows. Those are just a few of the many objects I did not carry anywhere tonight. But, if you are interested in what I carried, here you go: clothes, suitcases, food, and the COMPUTER CENTER. Which is the only way I'm relaying this wonderful message to you right now.

Although I did not meet the wonderful Mr. Vandesteen, I did indeed meet John and Brady -- the two wonderful people who reside next door, and share a bathroom with Steen and I. Steen, John, and Braids know each other from high school. I do not have a clue who any of them are (well, with the exception of the small conversation John and Braids had with me):

Note: For whatever reason, I used to post actual conversations in the form of instant messaging conversations. So, these conversations are real, unless otherwise noted. But this should be obvious because you can't shake hands with a computer.

xxJohnxx: You must be Jesse.
Me_Me_Me: Yes, that's me. [Shakes hand] How are you doing?
xxJohnxx: Good. This is Brady.
Me_Me_Me: Hello. [Shakes hand]
Braids_in_Hair25: Hello.
Me_Me_Me: Well, I spoke with Kurtis on the phone, and he said you all know each other. That'll make things easier.
xxJohnxx: Yes, it will. Good meeting you.
Me_Me_Me: Yeah, you too.
[Timestamp: 12:20:50 AM]
[Timestamp: 12:20:55 AM]
Me_Me_Me: Alright, we'll have to talk soon.

I did way too much shaking of hands tonight. That'll be it for awhile. This is the part where I walked away from the two gentlemen and then into my compartment (dorm room). They seemed very nice.

I also posted the following notice in the main living area:

Dorm Rules & Regulations

Hey everyone! Seeing how we’re going to be around each other for quite some time, I took the liberty of typing up some easy-to-follow rules & regulations. Please respect my requests by reading through the rule list at least twice!

- Pa’paw Jesse

1. Clean up after yourselves!
2. All individuals drinking beverages must either hold the beverage 100% of the time OR use a coaster when not drinking the beverage.
3. The locks on the doors may or may not be used at all times.
4. Please release all “Ya-Ya’s” before the “courtesy hours.”
5. Guys – Put the toilet seat down when you finish doing your thing in the bathroom. Girls, same.
6. Use the trash can for emergencies only (if necessary).
7. Please non-recycle all recyclable items in the trash.
8. Don’t let the beta out.
9. No male and female may wander off together.
10. Do not cook pizzas unless you plan to stay awake.
11. There are two pizzas in the freezer in the garage. You may cook them. Make sure you are not wasteful. (Only cook what you need.) Make SURE the freezer is completely closed after you get the pizzas out. You may cook/eat them if necessary.
12. Switching labels is prohibited. ALWAYS.
13. Stay in the dorm at all times. (Exception would be if you had to leave briefly to get something out of you car and that’s it!)
14. Wake me in case of any emergency. This would include injury, illness or anything that concerns you.
15. No horseplay, unless if necessary.
16. There will be no recycling of non recyclables (tissues, apples, toy buses, crusty dishes, etc.)
17. Christmas comes but once a year. Please plan accordingly.
18. What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine. Don’t touch my stuff (unless if possible).
19. No use of fire without a pirate (friend, parent, any will do) present.
20. I AM a vegetarian. Please do not rearrange the meat products in the mini-fridge.
21. The bathroom is for customers only.
22. No shirt, no shoes, no dinner.
23. I only wanna be with Wu.
24. No face placement in ANY popcorn bowl at ANY time.
25. No microwave use while pacemakers are in operation.
26. There will be playing of “Capture the Flag.” We understand you have the right to your freedoms, but this is not a silent matter.
27. Metal detectors will not be used in the fall term. They will be available upon request for the spring.
28. In the spirit of the low-carb, no fat, Akins diet, all bread and vegetables must be checked in before processing.
29. Please, leave the thermostat at a reasonable temperature. 50 – 52 degrees is acceptable.
30. No sleeping. I will keep taps.
31. There are clean towels located sometimes possible.
32. Please do not feed the beta.
33. Be nice ladies and gentlemen.
34. If you have a car, please do NOT park it in the golfer’s carting area. The parking lot is for shopping carts only. Golfing area means no walking area.
35. My motto: For every one futon, comes another insurance policy. NO USE PROHIBITED.
36. Fork statues are not allowed. Ever?
37. Our couch is not to be wet. Yes, ever.
38. Everyone must survive the nights. Late to bed, early to rise.
39. There will be no use of penguins (all exotic animals included) at any time.
40. No laughing in between snacks, meals, etc.
41. Please keep talking to a max/minimum. Napping may occur.
42. No dancing except Salsa. Do not buy dip. I like tosti.
43. There will be no waking of “Pa’paw Jesse” with tales of Stumpy.
44. Do not outline your body in chalk (dead or alive bodies). Also, police line is not to be placed on the door.
45. There will be no “Pin the fork on the beta.” If so, there are two forks located sometimes possible (if necessary).
46. No pretending fruit is a Spanish woman that’s getting her nails filed.
47. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of may. And it better stay that way. LEAVE THE THERMOSTAT ALONE!
48. There will be no reading of any books, except books of the “Great Lakes.” Michigan is our home state, let’s make them proud.
49. Good luck. Good night. I love New York.

They might think I'm insane, but that's how I feel about the whole "dorm situation." I am in control of this place, not the church. This is a family establishment, darn it.

So, it took me a good five hours to get all my stuff in the room and packed away. I'll post some pictures of the room online when I feel that the room looks good enough. Right now, I just have things randomly decorated around about. I have to figure out how to do the whole "poster hanging."

I talked with Rachel and Amanda tonight a few times. That was a good thing. I felt that I wasted a lot of time at Seussical rehearsal tonight. I really didn't need to go. I could have gotten all my stuff packed sooner. Oh well. I'm here, and all is well. And, plus, I got to say goodbye to the wonderful Matthew MacDermid, Alice Winchester, and Jamie Lowe.

Another adventure that I was not going to tell anyone about, (but I decided to anyway) was my fun times trying to eat my late night snack. Since Wal-Mart was sold out of everything but the crappiest of crap, I was forced to purchase...what was it called, again? Let me go check.

"Noodle [stupid picture of a man] Chef presents Delecta Bowl®. Mac & Cheese. Macaroni and Cheese dinner" Directions to make:

1) REMOVE lid and ADD pouch of Cheese Sauce Mix. ADD hot (not boiling) water to FILL line marked on inside of bowl. Stir until well blended.

First of all, I'm extremely impressed that they capitalized the important words like REMOVE and ADD. You see this a lot of mathematical tests where they want you to find the INCREASE or DECREASE. They capitalize these words because they don't want you to make a mistake, and they want to make sure you do the proper function. My only question is, how could you perform the wrong function on a DELECTA bowl? Would you really make the mistake of APPLYING a lid that's already there? How about REMOVING "Cheese Sauce Mix" that's not in the bowl? Besides, didn't you APPLY a lid? You can't REMOVE cheese sauce while the lid is APPLIED.

Oh yeah, and I didn't have anything to stir it with. So, I just shook the bowl around or about fifty seconds or so.

2) MICROWAVE uncovered on HIGH for 3 minutes or until pasta is tender (Cooking time is based on 1000W microwave. Time may vary depending on wattage).

Again, with the whole MICROWAVE thing. Would I throw this plastic bowl on the stove? Anyway, I tried cooking it for a little longer than 3 minutes...so, I put it in for 4 minutes. Come to find out, the 750 microwave that Amanda suggested that I take didn't really do the trick. It took about five minutes. I took out the uncooked cheese sauce disaster, and attempted to...eat...uehhhhehh...

So, I take it out, and here I go -- the moment of truth...I take my trusty spoon...oh, wait. I didn't have a spoon. I didn't have a fork. I didn't have anything. I took a cup and shoveled the Delecta Bowl contents into my mouth, onto the floor, and on my clothes.

The night was good. No thanks to Judy.

Finally, it's time to go to bed. The current time is 4:18 AM. The skies are clear, and I await a beautiful day at the University of Central Florida.

There will be a HUGE photo update sometime very soon.*

*Very soon means whenever I get some free time. Please allow 2 - 3 years for any updates.