Wal-Mart sucks

It seems more common these day for musical artists to look differently than you think they would. Many times you'll hear a song on the radio and you'll form an impression in your mind how they should look. Then, when their true image is revealed, most of the time you're shocked. Fefe Dobson (above) is a prime example.

Don't you hate it when you wake up in the morning with shingles? I know I do. Heck, I hate waking up with just a headache, which is what happened to me today. My only motivation to get up today was the idea of taking a shower. The warm water pouring down on me in the shower helped a little, but not much. I finally had to take some WAL-ACHE®. To those of you who are wondering, I didn't do my hair this morning. I had no time. But, it was a good thing I didn't do it. For I would have been very angry later.

Out the door.

My discussion-based algebra class is located in the Math and Physics building, or the MAP. While most of the UCF campus looks pretty contemporary, walking into the Math and Physics building, I felt like John Nash¹ walking into the ancient halls of Princeton University. This building has obviously been here for quite some time. How much time, you ask? Ha ha, you're silly.

On the first day on each class, everyone shows up about thirty minutes early. They all sit around in the hallway and stare at you as you walk by. They make you feel like you're stupid because they're sitting where they're supposed to be, and you're wandering around, playing detective -- you're living a dream, kid. I finally found my classroom on the forth floor. No elevators, my friend -- just stairs. And if that's not bad enough, they don't even have valet parking.

Jing Wu (above) teaches a discussion-based College Algebra at the University of Central Florida. Wouldn't it be convenient if he knew how to discuss? The Keymaker (below) was not available to teach this class.

The tired faces, the aching backs, and the blank stares were all ending when professor Jing Wu appeared like a professor in a hallway (good analogy? I thought so). Of course, we're anticipating one of two things when he begins speaking. We're expecting either a total meltdown of the English language with a horrible Chinese-buffet-employee accent, or a proficient "fake-you-out" China-man who has a totally normal speaking voice -- similar to the Keymaker in The Matrix Reloaded.

And buffet employee it is -- only worse.

Much worse.

Jinggy_Buffet: Hallo, wlcme to China palce. Wuld you jike to tie speceeals, tody?
Wife88: Aw, look honey! He's trying to speak English! Ha ha! Yes, sir, we'd like to tie the specials. Ha ha ha!

I'd actually be fine with buffet language. I mean, most Chinese people speak fine, but they just seem to leave out letters from words at total random. Yeah, that I could live with. However, this is different. This professor is the only man I've ever met in my life that can make simple Algebra problems sound like Calculus YZ.

OnlyWu2: Dfne da costine integeer of quadent of rombid binarie axzes, aund extpolea reslts to five significianciant vertces.
SrfrGrl83: Whoa, dude, now I know who came up with most Internet screenames.

Halfway through the class, people just started laughing because it was so crazy to have this man teaching this class. You have to think, this man is a professor at a University. How did he pass English if he can't speak it? Perhaps he can write it well? I doubt it. Speaking correctly is easier than writing correctly. Think of foreign language. Can you write a Spanish paper, or communicate in basic language easier?

I bought the movie Dark City for $5 at BestBuy. I love that movie, from what I can remember. I haven't seen it in many years. I'm not sure why it's $5, though. It's no Treat Williams special.

I also got two more rolls of film developed at Wal-Mart tonight. There will be a huge photo update coming up soon, I promise. There are about seventy or so pictures to format, and each one takes about sixty seconds to do. It adds up, kids. As soon as I can get the Seussical program off my docket, I'll be in the clear. The program cover looks pretty good, I think. But you'll have to wait until they're printed to see them. I rarely show anyone my "works in progress."

Speaking of Wal-Mart being the worst store in the world, I just feel that I have to say that Wal-Mart is the worst store in the world. At least the one near UCF is. Everyone, and believe me when I say, EVERYONE goes there. The lines are long. And I'm not talking about five o'clock in the evening at Palm Coast Wal-Mart Supercenter long. But, this is Orlando. I think these long lines are part of the whole "theme park" experience. Well, I don't like it.

The Orlando Wal-Mart Supercenter© (above) has installed turn styles and ticket booths in order to gain access to their main doors. Admission fees, however, are significantly cheaper than those of Universal Studios® and Disney World®©TM.

Kurtis spends quite a bit of time next door. I'm guessing that's because I don't talk to him. I just type on the computer. But hey, he could say something to me. It's not like I ignore him. He's been having problems with his computer all day. He can't register for classes or anything. Eh, he might as well drop out.

PSY 2012 - general psychology.

Walking to class today was fun until the rain starting pouring out of nowhere. This is the point in the day where I said to myself, "Good thing I didn't do my hair." Now, I'm not a FREAK about my hair, like most perceive me as. But, I'm not a fan of it getting messed up for no good reason.

No Good Reasons For Your Hair to Be Messed Up

• Someone thinks it's funny that I spend time on it, and they mess it up purposely. You are dumb, and you should be executed.
• Rain.
• People who like to randomly roll down the car windows in a car when we're going somewhere nice to eat, or somewhere where appearances are important. Idiots.
• I feel like this is an appropriate place to state that I am not a fan of people splashing water -- ever. Whether it's flicking water, splashing in a pool, or simply spitting gasoline at your boots, hoping for them to get a static charge and put your body up in blazes -- I don't care, I hate them all...especially when that messes up my hair.

Songs Lyrics of the Day

Title: Rainbow
Artist: Fefe Dobson

Your only a rainbow away
and I'm sitting here soaking wet, waiting for you
Your only a rainbow, just a rainbow away
and I'm reaching out hoping that you see it too

But telling you, that I'm no fool
Cuz I know what rainbows do

They fade away,
fade away,
fade away, away,
stormy days, found its way
and I wish I could hold you now

I' am only a rainbow away, my friend
And if you could see
what others see
You wouldn't feel so bad

And I'm telling you
Cuz I've been there too,
that storms are like rainbows too

They fade away,
fade away,
fade away, away,
stormy days,
drift away,
and may someone be holding you now.

I walked into class today soaking wet. I was immediately greeted by Palm Coast veterans Michael Ferrari and Michael Leby. Now, I've never really talked to either the two, but I had a good little chat with them. We basically just made jokes the entire class. I did indeed have a fun time. Kimberly Blythe walks in after that, and then I was convinced that Palm Coast has indeed moved to Orlando². The professor, Dr. Negy³, spends about twenty minutes handing out syllabuses. Finally, he starts talking to the class...making a few jokes here and there, but by the end of the class, I was impressed. He made me laugh out loud a few times -- mostly because he's a professor, and anytime someone is partially funny who isn't stereotypically thought of to be funny is perceived as funnier than they really are, but he was actually funny. I can tell that I'm going to have a good time in that class. It'll be the one I look forward to each week. I'm sure I won't let any of the crazy psychological theories work their ways into my everyday dialogue, however. Sometimes people take classes, and they feel like they're so smart, and they have to try and use the information in everything they say. I'm definitely not like that, at all.

I'm getting worried about my macroeconomics class. Now, I know Alex Walsh is going to read this and go say something like, "Dude, it's easy." Well, dude, you're easy. Bernice Lopez could seduce you in no time. Give it a rest, already, bucko. You're sexual desires are just fueled by your inability to correctly finger paint, but you don't know that because it's an unconscious feeling that you've suppressed when you were a child. Whereas many little children your own age were captivated by stories such as Snow White and Green Eggs and Ham, you were listening intently to the Greek youth pertaining to Pandora. Your grandmother frequently cautioned you about this enigmatic box since the time that you were very young. However, your mother’s favorite words of wisdom were, “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”. You weren’t quite certain in what way you were supposed to benefit from such abstruse advice, but you, nonetheless, decided to abuse yourself – physically and emotionally. Razors, chains, rope, knives, guns, alcohol, drugs, and cereal are just a few things that you could buy at Wal-Mart, if you didn’t have to WAIT IN THE LINES SO LONG. Of course, you probably don’t even know what you’re thinking, half the time. So don’t preach to me about knowing economics, Snow White.

The rain subsided after class for awhile. I went to Barnes & Nobel again and studied Math for awhile. And when I say "studied math for awhile," I really mean I looked at the book, realized that I don't know what I'm doing, and put it away (no comments, Mr. Walsh). I love Barnes & Nobel, nonetheless. I often browse for books for hours at a time. I find the smell of fresh coffee and taste of new books most appealing.

Rachel called tonight and she was lost in the slums of Richmond. Yeah, basically she was on 95, and she took the wrong exit, and then landed in Bunnell, Richmond. So, I spent about thirty minutes on the phone with her trying to get her home. She doesn't have a very good sense of direction. However, during our phone conversation, she had an excellent sense of humor, which, to me, is far more important. She must have said that she had to go to the bathroom about fifteen times. I stopped giving her directions when she screamed through the phone a few times:

r_k: I KNOW WHERE I AM! I KNOW WHERE I AM! I KNOW...WHERE...I AM!

She then thanked me, and we talked for a while longer. She went to the bathroom. The night was good.

OCTOBER ALERT: I've been alerted to a wonderful new web-page. It's called, Bridgeschool, and this specific site has Halloween costumes for students with disabilities. Be sure to check it out, and thanks to Bill who supplied that link via his AIM profile.

I received an interesting IM tonight. It looked something like this:



Oh wait, it looked exactly like that.

The new Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary is now available. In it's tenth edition, most college English courses recommend you obtain this book for class. The author of this book is a respected publicist (name in bottom right corner of book).

It seems more common these day for musical artists to look differently than you think they would. Many times you'll hear a song on the radio and you'll form an impression in your mind how they should look. Then, when their true image is revealed, most of the time you're shocked. Fefe Dobson (above) is a prime example.

I went over to her dorm (she attends UCF as well, obviously) in the Nike complex. I truly want to live over in that dorm area next year. It was so pretty! Awesome designs and cool room layout in Ashley's dorm. She has a wonderful roommate, Jessie, and a totally cool suitemate (if that's what you'd call it), Kristen. I talked with the three of them at length about many issues -- the three "p's" to be exact-- personal, promotional (my DVD), and prostitution. Ashley really needs to cut down on that last one.

Then, I called Rachel, scared the crap out of her with a long narrative about my life, and then got off the phone on a beautiful and lovely note. I can't wait for tomorrow. The day will be good -- I won't let it do anything else.

I'm hungry. 1:43 AM.

¹For those of you playing the home game, John Nash was the character played by Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind.

²This is not to be taken literally. Obviously, it's not possible for a city to move to another city. To those of you who were offended by this comment, I apologize.

³It's good to note that Dr. Negy did indeed write the textbook for the class. He does not mind sharing that with you throughout the class, either...multiple times. Did I mention that he wrote the textbook?