My thoughts on web cams

What I think about Craig's List

If you aren't familiar with the popular site Craig's List, you're probably dead. You are most likely also unaware of cell phones, personal computers, and the wheel.

Craig's List is the modern day version of newspaper classified ads. People post items for sale and other, more desperate people, buy those items. I've been browsing the furniture pages in anticipation of moving into my new apartment later this month. I've learned the following:

Finding a good item on Craig's List is like trying to find a specific piece of hay in a haystack.

There are some great deals on Craig's List. Of the many furniture postings, I've discovered two or three of those great deals -- but those items were quickly sniped away by other crazed shoppers. They're probably eBay alumni.

This is a screen shot showing almost one thousand furniture items available in Orlando. Three of them are good.

Finding a bad item on Craig's List is like trying to find a celebrity gossip magazine featuring Oprah and her obsession with eating children.

Translation: You can find them anywhere. Oh look, here are some now:

Sphere chairs - $20

Both have zipper bags. $15 for one $20 for both.

Okay, I'll say it if no one else will. What the hell is going on? What is that girl doing in the photo? And does she have a zipper bag too? And forgive me if this sounds out of line, but I think $20 is extortion for a child that ugly.

Office/Conference Chair Set (20) Blue w/armrest $7/each or $140/OBO - $140

Nice furniture from church that needs to go. In good condition. No major damage.

Clearly someone broke into a church and stole these chairs. And thank God (literally?) that the chairs are in good condition and there's no major damage. As opposed to being in good condition with major damage.

Plastic White Lawn Furniture - $20

I HAVE A VERY SIMPLE BUT NICE WHITE PLAXTIC TABLE WITH THREE CHAIRS FOR TEH LAWN.

Oh no, I'm not falling for this one. I know a friend who used to have plaxtic tables. Plaxtic is known to cause severe spelling and counting disorders. And apparently the compulsion to have tea parties with scary-as-hell witchcraft dolls.

I can only hope that you can take away some valuable lessons about Craig's List. To summarize:

1. Children are overpriced.
2. What would Jesus do? Sell the chairs or give them away to those less fortunate?
3. Voodoo is soooo "in" right now.
   

Thanks for calling

I love answering the phone. Just not when there are people on the other end.

I hate it when people wander back to my secluded cubicle and say this exact phrase:

Man, I wish I had your job. Answering phones all day. Man.

What they don't understand, man, is that answering phones isn't really the best job. Often times phone customers are the most complicated customers of them all.

Why? Because people that use the phone are stupid. Mostly. At least people who use the phone to ask questions like, "What do you have on sell?" Umm. "Everything. We sell everything." Do they really want me to just list off every television we have on sale.

"Yeah, that would be great."

Help me.

Customers that call in clearly have some sort of slowed/completely awkward-as-hell brain function:

• Me: Thanks for calling Best Buy, my name is Jesse, how can I help you today?
• Customer: Yeah, Jeffery, I’m looking for a product. Can you check to see if it’s in stock?
• Me: Yes sir. What’s the item?
• Customer: Yeahhh, the Intel Duo 2 Core.
• Me: ....
• Customer: Laptop.
• Me: Do you have the model number or the SKU number for the item?
• Customer: No.
• Me: Well, actually, many of the laptops that we carry have the Intel Core 2 Duo processor. Unless you have the specific model number for the computer, I won’t know which specific computer you’re looking for.
• Customer: Well, I’m just looking at the advertisement for this week’s sales. Here it says, Compaq Intel Duo. That’s the model.
• Me: Well, actually, that’s the processor. Not the model. Is it the one for $399?
• Customer: Yeah, that’s it. That’s the one I want.
• Me: We’re sold out.
• Customer: You’re telling me you don’t have it?
• Me: Yes. We're sold out.
• Customer: So how come you put out an advertisement for a product that you don’t even have. That’s ridiculous.
• Me: Well, actually, the weekly sales advertisement comes out on Sundays. We did have the product in stock yesterday. And we sold them all yesterday.
• Customer: So you’re advertising a product that you don’t even have. That’s ridiculous.
• Me: ...I can check the other stores in the area if you want, sir.
• Customer: CIRCUIT CITY DOESN’T DO THIS.

[CLICK]

I wish there was a way I could instantly call people back so I could have the last word.

• Me: Yes they do.

[CLICK]

I don't think selling out of products is a Best-Buy-specific store policy. Though I can only speak for the company that I work for. I wouldn't want to slander the Circuit City name, spreading rumors that they, too, sell out of products.

And if you have the weekly advertisement in front of you, the model number and SKU number are printed right next to the product.

• Me: Thanks for calling Best Buy, my name is Jesse, how can I help you today?
• Customer: Jeff?
• Me: Jesse.
• Customer: Jesse. Oh, Jesse. Hi. I'm calling in to ask you a question.
• Me: Alrighty. What's your question?
• Customer: Do you have MP3 gift cards?
• Me: Yes ma'am. We have them for iTunes. What service are you using?
• Customer: Excuse me? I'm not using a service.
• Me: Well, you have to be using a service, like iTunes or Napster, in order to purchase a gift card for that specific service. If you're talking about generic or universal MP3 download giftcards, something like that doesn't exist.
• Customer: What?
• Me: You have to know what service you're using.
• Customer: I told you. I'm not using a service. All I want to know is if you have the gift cards there for MP3 downloads.
• Me: For iTunes, yes.
• Customer: Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place?
• Me: I did.
• Customer: WELL, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN VERY HELPFUL.

[CLICK]

And it's only a matter of time before someone else comes roaming back here to tell me that I have their dream job.

And I wish they wouldn't.

And Jesse sounds nothing like Jeffery.

movielens

A site that I really enjoy is movielens. It allows you to rate movies on a 1 to 5 star system. Based on your ratings, it'll tell what other people have rated movies as well as recommend movies that it thinks you'll enjoy.

It's better than Netflix or Blockbuster Online recommendations because it also predits what you'll rate the movie*.

And that's awesome.

It's fairly accurate. Here are the top 3 movies it's recommending to me today:



And yes, though it may seem impossible, I've managed to float through life for 22 years not having seen The Godfather. Apparently, I've also managed to float by Nothing to Lose and Angela, though I don't think the people in film school would pass much judgment on me for not having seen those two.

I haven't even heard of those two.

But, if movielens says I'll enjoy, then I'll certainly give them a chance. It's better than browsing the walls of Blockbuster and picking movies based on snazzy box art.

*Netflix may actually do this, but I haven't had an account in years. I use Blockbuster Online because it's a much better deal.

Top 5 ways to kill yourself

Nowadays, killing oneself is easier than ever. We can all thank technology for that. After extensive research, however, some of the most sure-fire ways to self-terminate are some of the oldest methods available. "Tried and true," if you will. Here are my top 5 ways to kill yourself:

1. Gun shot
2. Drug/alcohol overdose
3. Hanging
4. Carbon monoxide inhalation
5. The Country Sausage Biscuit Platter (available only at Perkins):

While the Country Sausage Biscuit Platter is number 5 on the list, it's surely one of the quickest methods available today*.

If you know of any other killer meals, feel free to share them here so we can help each other understand the dangers that lurk in Perkins. Or any other restaurant. But mostly Perkins.

*WARNING: SIMPLY READING THE DESCRIPTION OF THE COUNTRY SAUSAGE BISCUIT PLATTER COULD LEAD TO SEVERE CHOLESTEROL INCREASE. AND HEART ATTACKS, I'M SURE.

Summer cleaning

College is a Movie screen capture, Nov 16, 2004.

Hello. It's summer time. I'm taking some time to reorganize my site. Some major changes include:

1. The Writings section will now be on the front page. In fact, I'm probably going to call it "Blog." That's very 2008, and I like to stay trendy. Add the College is a Movie RSS feed to your reader, if you have one, to receive up-to-the-minute updates.
   
2. I will no longer have a Photo section on this site. Bad news? No. Check out my flickr page (http://www.flickr.com/jessechapman) to see my photos. I'm slowly uploading all of the old College is a Movie photos, as well as some great new ones.
3. I probably won't have my Music on this site anymore, either. For that, you can check out my SPACE. Get it? My Space? Great. http://www.myspace.com/jessechapmanmusic/
4. Movies. Good question. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with the Movies as of yet. YouTube seems like a great option -- visit my YouTube page at http://www.youtube.com/collegeisamovie. However, some shorts that I make contain copyrighted material, so I'm going to either have to host them on my site or find some other site that does that. Either way, they'll be available somehow.
   
5. The Forums are gone. But they've been gone for years. No, they're not coming back. Between Lost and Battlestar Galactica, no one has time to keep up with forums.
   
6. I'm going to mess around with the site design, too. That's that.
   

I have one more year at college. Until that time comes, I'll keep posting on this site. But when that time comes, unfortunately, I'll have to close this site down and move on with my life.

Which means simply opening up another site and posting on there. And "damn you" to that jessechapman.com guy. He never even updates his site.

Miami in May 2008

Uncomfortable passenger, originally uploaded by mr_director.

Now that Santa's dead, I feel like I can share with you all my mini-vacation in Miami photos!