Closing out the Semester

A typical bathroom at the University of Central Florida (above) is around 1,500 sq. ft. A typical bathroom user at the University of Central Florida has about 1,500 sq. ft. of empty space in his or her head (below).

Tip of the day: Don't have any caffeine after 2:00 PM. Any soda or coffee consumed after this time will adversely affect your sleep at night.

I woke up and immediately began playing, "Bathroom Champion." It's a fun game at college that people frequently play. It's when everyone tries to battle for the bathroom, and Jesse always loses. There aren't really any other rules than that.

I woke up rather late for a Tuesday. I have a class at 9:30 PM, and I woke up around 9:15 PM. It's a good thing it doesn't take me a long time to get to class (only about an hour or so -- mountains, plateaus, etc.) I find that Wu Jing, my discussion Algebra teacher, gets harder and harder to understand. But, it's almost cute watching him struggle to read off the names of the students as he hands out our math exams. Speaking of math exams, I got a 93% on my last standard exam. The final exam is next Wednesday. I've got to do some major studying before the final.

Final exams aren't going to be too bad for me this semester. I have already completed my Economics test. I have the choice to retake a final exam if I want to score higher, but I'm not sure what my grade on the second test was yet. My psychology average is pretty good. The exam for that is next Tuesday, I believe. I also have an exam in English, but I'm pretty sure I could cut off all my hair and set it on fire and then do a tribal dance around the exam and still get an 'A' in the course. We'll see how it goes.

As most people know, I have a line a CDs that I periodically release to my friends. My major CD releases are the DayDrive series. The DayDrive CDs contain all the most popular songs at the time the CD is released; however, I often mix new artists, cool but unknown songs, and retro songs in there sometimes. Another criterion is that the songs have to fit the mood of driving in the daytime -- mostly Pop/Rock type songs. The track list for my the latest release, DayDrive 7, is:

This is the CD cover for DayDrive. The title of the CD is on the license plate, as well as the back of the car (DD7). DayDrive covers take anywhere from thirty minutes to a few hours, depending on how quickly I can find the images necessary to take the image in my mind and place it in Photoshop.

1. "What You Waiting For," Gwen Stefani
2. "Don't Go (Girls & Boys)," Fefe Dobson
3. "Just Lose It (Stop End Edit)," Eminem
4. "Rumors," Lindsay Lohan
5. "Failure's Not Flattering," New Found Glory
6. "White Houses," Vanessa Carlton
7. "Breakaway," Kelly Clarkson
8. "Will I Ever Make it Home (AM Radio Edit)," Ingram Hill
9. "You're the Only One," Maria Mena
10. "Beautiful Soul," Jesse McCartney
11. "Let's Get it Started," Black Eyed Peas
12. "American Idiot," Green Day
13. "I Like," Katy Rose
14. "Everything to Me," Brooke Hogan
15. "Tangled Up in Me," Skye Sweetnam
16. "Carwash," Christina Aguilera
17. "Where You Are," Marc Broussard
18. "1985," Bowling for Soup
19. "One Night Stand (Stargate Radio Edit)," Misteeq
20. "On the Way Down," Ryan Cabrera
21. "My Prerogative," Britney Spears
22. "These Words," Natasha Bedingfield

What often ends up happening is the unknown songs quickly become known, and I start hearing them on the radio more and more. That's a good thing, because it means that I have a fairly good sense of what music should be popular. I'm pretty non-discriminatory when it comes to listening to music. I like music that doesn't have a lot of screaming and noise together -- pick one, scream or have noise. But, if it's a screamy-noisy, then it's not good. That's pretty much it.

Jamie Lowe is one of the biggest advocates of the Radio Alternative series. "They're my favorite," Jamie says. "I'm more into rock that most other types of music." When talking to Jesse Chapman, he said, "Yeah, I made up the quote that Jamie said." He continued, "But it'd be something similar to what he'd say, if asked."

The DayDrive series was remastered this summer and now is completely available to anyone who wants copies.

Radio Alternative is the other major series that I release. Opposed to DayDrive's massive seven disc set, I've only completed one Radio Alternative disc. The second disc in being created right now, and will hopefully be released by Christmas. The idea behind Radio Alternative is to give people some songs to listen to that they don't hear on the radio constantly -- an alternative to the radio. Again, the songs on the Radio Alternative series often end up being overplayed on the radio at some point. One song one Radio Alternative was "Cold," by Crossfade. At the time the CD was created, the song was unknown, but since then it's been extremely popularized.

Speaking of popular, it's apparently popular to not care when your friends commit suicide nowadays. During lunch today, Kim Blythe, a friend who went to my high school, and I saw a random girl sitting on the edge of the wooded boardwalk. Suddenly, she jumped off and her friend looked over the edge to check on her. The "friend" then pretended not to be involved whatsoever, and sat down. Kim and I eventually threw away our Wendy's lunches and walked over to check out if the girl was okay. Apparently, she risked her life for an earring. Kids these days.

Dr. Negy, my psychology teacher, spoke of homosexuality in class today. He says that homosexuality is completely normal and natural, and that there is really no such thing as "homosexuality," and "heterosexuality," but rather they are extremes on a continuum.

What this means is that no one is solely heterosexual or homosexual. Everyone lies somewhere in the gray area -- whether it's right next to the black or rainbow circles, somewhere in the middle (commonly called bisexuality) or in an infinite number of spots on the line. That's probably why some claim to have "turned gay," or "realized that they're really straight." Truth is, there really aren't such things in nature. Sexual orientation is a construct created by society. He talked about this, and about how religion influences many people beliefs, and how they will lie to themselves and others because of religious beliefs at the cost their own self. I really love his class.

A minor in psychology.

I'm thinking of taking on some additional psychology classes and obtaining a minor in psychology. Kim and I went to see Dr. Negy in his office, and he suggested to both of us that we obtain double majors -- one being psychology. For me, that'd mean that I would have to take a bunch of film classes as well as a slew of psychology courses. I'm totally up for the challenge, but that may mean that I have to stay at school longer for four years. We'll see how it goes. Things aren't as easy as they were in high school.

While we're on the topic high school, I think I'll mention an ongoing project of mine -- the casting of all my high school friends. I'm having various Hollywood celebrities play each character. The thought was to make the actors close resemble the real life characters. After extensive searching, we almost gave up hope on casting Bianca Webb and myself. However, let us all welcome the two newest members to the cast of "Good Morning, FPC!" Using extensive makeup and computer graphic technology, we've created almost identical movie counterparts.

Bill Cosby as Jesse Chapman

Sue Johanson as Bianca Webb

Rachel Kindergan (above) is my girlfriend. She is also going to be in the "Good Morning FPC!" feature film. She was a student of Flagler-Palm Coast High School for a few months during the end of her freshmen year (played by Dan Aykroyd).

Casting the movie hasn't been easy, but we're doing our best to fill the necessary spots. That's probably why I haven't had much opportunity to update my journal lately. Schoolwork has been mounting up, and I haven't had much chance to do anything. I have to work on my film portfolio, which is a whole different story.

I'm writing my final essay in English right now. Here's the introductory paragraph:

The University of Central Florida (UCF) currently has a population of 42,568 students 4,200 of which live on campus. Out of the 2,400 students who live on campus with roommates, around 1 in 24 room reassignments are requested each semester due to reported roommate conflicts. To facilitate the compatibility of roommate assignments, I propose that a comprehensive personality test replace the standard ten-question preference survey. This will promote a more harmonious on-campus living experience as well as alleviate some unnecessary burden UCF’s Housing and Residence Life has to undertake.

I think it's a realistic topic. A wonderfully talented young man in my English class, Drew Agan, did a peer review of my paper and raised some interesting questions. "What about opposing views? Don't roommates need to be different to teach students different values." It's all covered in COLLEGE MATCHMAKING: RELOADED -- my second draft. I'll be posting the final essay online, as usual, when I'm done. I'll revise it again after a peer review on Wednesday, and then I'll be turning it in on Friday.

I worked on some other homework tonight as well. As I said, my math final is next Wednesday, so I worked on some practice problems for that. I read and highlighted a chapter for psychology. I'm on the road to college success (AKA, dropping out).

Hoof Insurance

Let Teenagers Try Adulthood

This was an article that I was assigned to read for ENC 1101. This article appeared on the Op-Ed page of the New York Times in May 1999, shortly after the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado.

Let Teenagers Try Adulthood
By Leon Botstein

The national outpouring after the Littleton shootings has forced us to confront something we have suspected for a long time: the American high school is obsolete and should be abolished. In the last month, high school students present and past have come forward with stories about cliques and the artificial intensity of a world defined by insiders and outsiders, in which the insiders hold sway because of superficial definitions of good looks and attractiveness, popularity and sports prowess.

The team sports of high school dominate more than student culture. A community's loyalty to the high school system is often based on the extent to which varsity teams succeed. High school administrators and faculty members are often former coaches, and the coaches themselves are placed in a separate, untouchable category. The result is that the culture of the inside elite is not contested by the adults in the school. Individuality and dissent are discouraged.

But the rules of high school turn out not to be the rules of life. Often the high school outsider becomes the more successful and admired adult. The definitions of masculinity and femininity go through sufficient transformation to make the game of popularity in high school an embarrassment. No other group of adults young or old is confined to an age-segregated environment, much like a gang in which individuals of the same age group define each other's world. In no workplace, not even in colleges or universities, is there such a narrow segmentation by chronology.

Given the poor quality of recruitment and training for high school teachers, it is no wonder that the curriculum and the enterprise of learning hold so little sway over young people. When puberty meets education and learning in modern America, the victory of puberty masquerading as popular culture and the tyranny of peer groups based on ludicrous values meet little resistance.

By the time those who graduate from high school go on to college and realize what really is at stake in becoming an adult, too many opportunities have been lost and too much time has been wasted. Most thoughtful young people suffer the high school environment in silence and in their junior and senior years mark time waiting for college to begin. The Littleton killers, above and beyond the psychological demons that drove them to violence, felt trapped in the artificiality of the high school world and believed it to be real. They engineered their moment of undivided attention and importance in the absence of any confidence that life after high school could have a different meaning.

Adults should face the fact that they don't like adolescents and that they have used high school to isolate the pubescent and hormonally active adolescent away from both the picture-book idealized innocence of childhood and the more accountable world of adulthood. But the primary reason high school doesn't work anymore, if it ever did, is that young people mature substantially earlier in the late 20th century than they did when the high school was invented. For example, the age of first menstruation has dropped at least two years since the beginning of this century, and not surprisingly, the onset of sexual activity has dropped in proportion. An institution intended for children in transition now holds young adults back well beyond the developmental point for which high school was originally designed.

Furthermore, whatever constraints to the presumption of adulthood among young people may have existed decades ago have now fallen away. Information and images, as well as the real and virtual freedom of movement we associate with adulthood, are now accessible to every 15- and 16-year-old.

Secondary education must be rethought. Elementary school should begin at age 4 or 5 and end with the sixth grade. We should entirely abandon the concept of the middle school and junior high school. Beginning with the seventh grade, there should be four years of secondary education that we may call high school. Young people should graduate at 16 rather than 18.

They could then enter the real world, the world of work or national service, in which they would take a place of responsibility alongside older adults in mixed company. They could stay at home and attend junior college, or they could go away to college. For all the faults of college, at least the adults who dominate the world of colleges, the faculty, were selected precisely because they were exceptional and different, not because they were popular. Despite the often cavalier attitude toward teaching in college, at least physicists know their physics, mathematicians know and love their mathematics, and music is taught by musicians, not by graduates of education schools, where the disciplines are subordinated to the study of classroom management.

For those 16-year-olds who do not want to do any of the above, we might construct new kinds of institutions, each dedicated to one activity, from science to dance, to which adolescents could devote their energies while working together with professionals in those fields.

At 16, young Americans are prepared to be taken seriously and to develop the motivations and interests that will serve them well in adult life. They need to enter a world where they are not in a lunchroom with only their peers, estranged from other age groups and cut off from the game of life as it is really played. There is nothing utopian about this idea; it is immensely practical and efficient, and its implementation is long overdue. We need to face biological and cultural facts and not prolong the life of a flawed institution that is out of date.

judypoof (she's gone)

The RCA CD Clock Radio with AM/FM Digital Tuner and Graduwake Alarm System's most enjoyable feature is the programmable snooze, which blows your arm off with a small, but powerful, explosion.

My new alarm clock is quite amazing. It hasn't failed to wake me up since I've bought it. For awhile, I thought that it might simply be the new alarm tone. You know, after awhile you tend to become accustomed to certain noises, and after awhile you learn to ignore them. Well, this alarm isn't "learnable," so to speak. It starts off real quiet.

Beep beep beep.

Then, after awhile, it gets louder.

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Then you either choose to wake up or die, because the noise is unbearable. And, as a bonus, if you hit the snooze button, the alarm will explode -- blowing your arm off, much like a Dr. Pepper bottle (read the warning label on the Dr. Pepper bottles and you'll understand). So, it's best to just get up.

Math was extremely boring today. I usually try to get something to eat before I go, but it's so early in the morning that I usually don't have the time. Good thing it goes by fast.

Today was a good day because I wore a shirt that Jamie Lowe gave me for my birthday -- it is, in fact, the live version of the "I [HEART] ATTACKS" shirt, popularized by my essay on expensive clothing. I'm not sure if I've explained to you the crazies that are in front of our main building, the Student Union. They're always out there trying to get you to either kill Bush, stop abortion, kill abortion, or stop Bush -- whatever the case, they're out there always handing out flyers and pamphlets or free drinks at Johnny Mac's Nightclub. Today, on the way to English, a woman spotted me and said, "WOW, I like your shirt. You love heart attacks, eh? Here you go." She then handed me the following flyer:



So, thanks to Jamie and my love of cholesterol over dosage garments, I received a free hamburger today (due to the recent outbreaks of THE FLU, I decided it best to NOT redeem my free burger).

One thing I've noticed about college is that the weeks seem to go by much faster. I think it's mostly because your schedule isn't the same thing every day. Having a lot more to work on and study probably adds to the missing time, whereas I used to just sit around after school if I wasn't hanging out with friends. Schoolwork in high school is everything but serious (everything would be defined as easy, unnecessary, boring, vomit-inducing).

Mrs. Phelan (above), is not pictured (above).

That is, of course, not applicable when you had Ms. Phelan's class (pronounced"FAY-LYNN" -- almost like the word "failing" with no "g" sound). Ms. Phelan was my 10th grade English teacher. Everything you did in that class was weighed four or five times. The joke was, "Failing Phelan." If you don't read the books in that class, you fail. If you don't show up to class, you fail. If you don't do the homework grammar worksheets, you fail. If you're John Kerry, you fail.

Speaking of John Kerry, whatever happened to him? One day he's running for President of the United States, and the next he's gone. No more commercials, no more media, no more bad hair -- just gone. I guess he's had his fifteen minutes of boredom.

I ordered Daniel Bedingfield's second CD from the UK via Amazon.co.uk, and I should be receiving it shortly. You can't order the CD from the US whatsoever, which is highly disappointing. On the upside, Daniel's new single, "Nothing Hurts Like Love," can be heard on his official web-site. His web-site is being redesigned as we speak, and should be up sometime soon.

Rachel goes to school very early in the morning on Mondays, and gets out very late. This past Monday, Rachel stayed late at the library to do some additional research for History class (or so she says). She stayed at the library until around 11:00 PM. When she left, she called me on the phone to say, "hello." On the way to her car, she spots a small piece of paper lying underneath her windshield wiper. This, my friends, is what's called "Double-Irony" (that's actually not a technical term of any sorts, but I thought it was good). Looks like Rachel has obtained her very own Parking Citation. How amazing is that -- she tells me that I need to pay for my parking ticket and not lie to the nice people at Parking Services, and I agree. Then I mysteriously have to pay for that ticket and another "outstanding" ticket for October 13th (both for $20). Then, low and behold, Rachel receives one. I thought that was pretty funny for awhile. However, I didn't think it was very funny when she told me that her ticket was for a measly $5.

She wasn't too happy about that. I guess it's the principal of the situation, rather than the cost. It sometimes seems that whenever I really get upset and complain about something, it starts happening to other people just so these "Powers That Be" can prove to me that the world doesn't exist just for me (nevertheless, it's fun to debate).

Jesse's Statement: "Wow, Paisley. It's crazy that you just happen to have a woman get out of her car in the middle of traffic and slap you! Nothing like that has happened to me."
Outcome: Jesse's car breaks down in St. Augustine. Shortly afterward, random teenagers circle the car, kick a dent in the side, and ride off on their bikes.

Jesse's Statement: "I can't believe I got two parking tickets for $20!"
Outcome: Rachel receives one ticket for $5.

Most everyone knows that I'm leaving for Virginia this Wednesday to visit my significant Rachel Kindergan (which means that I probably won't be able to update the script for awhile). I am having a major problem with laundry. I have a ton of blacks and jeans, one pair of red pants that have to be washed, a few other random colored items, and some socks that are essential, but not near enough for a full load. What on Earth am I supposed to do?

Things looked pretty bad until I came across SoYouWanna.Com's Learn to Do Laundry tutorial. It was especially tailored for college students, which was good. So, if you're looking for a great link to teach you how to do laundry (or to simply explain these simple techniques that you may not know), definitely check it out. I didn't really learn much from the article, but it did put me in the mood to do laundry. I was all set -- had my quarters, my detergent, my clothes, and my batteries. It's just my luck that all eight washing machines were being used at four o'clock in the afternoon.

Jesse's Statement: "I'm glad that no one ever does laundry during the middle of the week at four o'clock in the afternoon, because I have to have all my laundry done by the time I leave for Virginia on Wednesday."
Outcome: I give up.

Eventually, the laundry room was available. Rachel called me just as I was able to set my clothes on fire. She was explaining to me all her plans for tomorrow, and how she has to prepare everything for my arrival.

SupriseVisit799: I have to prepare for your arrival.
Me_Me_Me: What kind of preparations are we talking about, here?
I have to clean... my room... kitchen... living room. Gonna wash... laundry... mmmm... there was more, I don't remember what.
SupriseVisit799: My vacuum cleaner sucks.
Me_Me_Me: Isn't that what's it's supposed to do?
SupriseVisit799: lol
Me_Me_Me: I guess it's better that it sucks rather than blows.
SupriseVisit799: That depends...on who you are.
Me_Me_Me: You're disgusting.
SupriseVisit799: Eh, it happens.

I've been practicing keeping my mouth shut lately. I mean, sure, crazy things are good because then I can add them to the script. Lately, I've been too busy to experience crazy things, though. I've been busy doing math homework, English papers, and casting for my future movie, "Good Morning, FPC!" (a movie which will probably never get made, but it is still fun to dream).

This topic has been very popular on the forums, but I figured I'd post some highlights in the script since not all script readers are villagers. The idea I had with this was to create a movie based on my old high school, Flagler-Palm Coast High School, and cast everyone with current celebrities. Thanks to help from fellow villagers, we've come up with a wonderful cast list so far, and plan to continue expanding it. Two of the newest cast member decisions are as follows:

The idea to have Amy Lee play Rachel Kindergan came from Judy Vanderoef, and was supported by popular villagers such as Amanda Westerhouse. I think this is an appropriate choice, since the two do indeed look similar.

However, my choice of Sean Connery for Amanda Westerhouse seems to be an even more appropriate choice. Even an amateur casting director is able to notice the similarities between these two.

If you think these casting ideas are interesting, you can supply your input by joining The Village and posting your own ideas. Other cast members include Lori Beth Demberg as Bianca Webb, Ben Stiller as Mr. Delbrugge, and Gene Hackman as Mr. McCoppin.

Judy Vanderoef lookalike, an unnamed woman, was recently killed. Too bad, because she would have been a great candidate to play Judy in the upcoming movie, "Good Morning, FPC!"

While the Country Sausage Biscuit Platter is number 5 on the list, it's surely one of the quickest methods available today*.

Meanwhile, if you check out the new issue of People magazine, you can find a woman on the cover who looks surprisingly like Judy Vanderoef (left). We were in talks with her manager when, after two and a half hours of negotiation, we realized that she was on People because she had recently been murdered.

Unfortunately, this means that we are unable to cast her in "Good Morning, FPC!" as proctor-extraordinaire, Judy Vanderoef. Judy was, in fact, the person who alerted me to this disaster:

"Yesterday, I was in the grocery store and Ricky handed me People magazine. He said 'Mom, you're on the cover.' Even I think this poor woman looks like me. Unfortunately, she is dead. Murdered. Should I take that as a sign of something disastrous ahead for me?"

Judy failed to realize that this death occurred at approximately the SAME TIME as judyhoof.com's closing! This does indeed indicate a correlation. For those of you who are worried about Judy after the judyhoof.com closing, you can send her sympathy mail via telepathy at {[MIND||JUDY|VANDEROEF||SEND>>ACCESS2355<<]}.

Speaking of death, Pierce Brosnan has stated that he won't be returning as James Bond 007 for a fifth time. This is quite a shocker, since he was signed on to do another film, however, at 51 years old, he can't shake it, can't stir it, and certainly isn't up there with any of the younger potentials.