I judge people

I write the best when I’m angry. When I’m not angry I lose all artistic motivation.

So that means I hate being happy. At least when I want to be creative. So know that for every compliment you pay to me when you see me somewhere, it is indeed your fault that I’m not bringing my artistic charcoal self-portraits to galleries nationwide.

I find it fascinating how quickly our minds judge people. I judge people. Quickly and all the time. That's why most people don't tell me things. I once had a friend tell me that they didn’t fancy telling me intimate details of their life because they didn’t want me to judge them.

So, instead of talking we decided to stare at the wall.

But the wall was dirty, filled with push-pin holes, painted in some sort of ugly eggshell offish-whitish...oh...sorry. I was judging.

Brains judge. You have values, your friends have values. When you hear a story about "Joe" and "Maria" and "wow, isn't she the housekeeper/I never knew two people could do that upside down," an immediate judgment is made. Maybe Joe should tell someone who tells him what he wants to hear (like that bitch Karen, who obviously sleeps around and will have no problem reinforcing Joe's promiscuity).

It is interesting how we seek out people to confirm our beliefs. I know when I want to hear the truth I go to one friend, when I want to hear a direct repeat of whatever I’m saying I go to another, when I want someone to play devil’s advocate I go to Satan, etc. We want to hear what we’ve already thought of – knowing that people have similar thoughts and feelings allows us to feel less insane.

Not only do we judge people instantaneously, but we judge them for ridiculous things. You know when you’ve been talking to someone you respect highly, things are going great, and suddenly something small that they say throws you entirely.

Jesse: I think the new Microsoft Word 2008 has a lot of useless features.
Person at work: Yeah, why did they even upgrade it?
Jesse: No idea. They should have just kept it the same.
Person at work: Yeah, but maybe added some extra tamplets.

Tamplet? What the hell?

I immediately had "to go to the bathroom."

As for respect, I don't think I'll be talking to Joe anymore at work. Besides, I'm sleeping with Karen now and it's...AWWKWARDDDD.

Don't judge me.