New Writing: Give Me Gifts and I'll Feed the Homeless

I realized that I haven't been in the holiday spirit much lately. My life quickly changed, however, when I saw this amazing commercial:

I've ordered eight Celine Dions to be randomly hidden under my friends' Christmas trees this year (and two of them are Jewish -- figure that one out). So, if you get someone breaking in your house and planting Dions you'll know it was me. Surprise!

Speaking of break-ins, please refer to my brand new WRITING: